1. Thursday, July 22, 2004

    we were on a stakeout this morning. 

    a super annoying chick was in the backseat. she shouldnt have even been there. i cant tell you why she was there, but she was.

    for some reason she was in lust with me.

    she asked me all these questions and i was all, we’re on a stakeout, hafta be quiet.

    so she whispered all these questions.

    she said, can men and women be friends?

    i was all, yes, but only if the women know how to be quiet.

    i was being a dick.

    she said, i mean, like can two people who are friends, friendly, not husband and wife, not boyfriend and girlfriend, be friends and not have to worry about sex?

    she was a pretty hot woman. i could see that she had had these sorts of problems before. getting hit on, etc.

    maybe it had something to do with her huge cans and how she probably always had them exposed, like she did this morning.

    i was all, chicks need to get used to getting hit on. especially if theyre pretty.

    she asked me if i thought she was pretty. i said one more question and im going to have to start charging $5.

    she handed me $5 and said, do you think a guy and a girl, not boyfriend/girlfriend, can have sex and everything be cool?

    i said yes.

    as long as neither of them got possessive.

    you could tell she was thinking because her lips werent moving.

    people walked past and you could see all the men craning their neck when they saw her bossom.

    then she questioned it with a “really”?

    i held out my hand. she gave me a ten, i gave her her original five back.

    yes, really. it helps if the sex isnt very good. if its good sex then definately someone is going to get possessive, probably the chick.

    she wanted to disagree but she couldnt.

    she handed me a twenty but i didnt have a five, so i took it and gave her back her ten. five buck tip is how i figured it.

    how do you stop from being possessive if its good sex, she asked me, having way too much fun with our q&a session.

    i said, you have to stop being possessive in all aspects of your life. like quit hoarding shoes, purses, cds, video tapes, dresses, makeup, everything. cuz if youre possessive about that shit, then definately youre gonna want to lay claim on a nice cock that does you right.

    and with that she forgot about the fact that she had another question coming.

    and soon the dude ran out of the back of the hotel and the chase was on.

    how to get laid by bunny mcintosh + angelina + virginia is for rockers