1. Tuesday, August 10, 2004

    danielle thinks she has the West Nile virus 

    she called in sick yesterday.

    i was all, what makes you think you have the Nile?

    she was like, “hello, im sick!”

    i was all, so, lots of people are sick. how did you get sick?

    she went, “well i was hiking this weekend in this place that had signs that said ‘West Nile Has Been Spotted Here.'”

    so i have been planning her funeral.

    im thinking something natural and upbeat. gerbers, grateful dead tunes, navy blues – not blacks, and healthy lo-carb snacks for her model type friends.

    it looks like i wont be able to invite Flagrant who is planning on moving away from me. which will break my heart. but danielle has always been jealous of girls skinnier than she, so maybe that would have been a bad choice anyway.

    and now danielle is mad at me because i wont go get coffee with her.

    “i dont want the Nile,” i tell her.

    Youre not going to get it! she says. informing me that its the bite of an insect that delivers the deadly virus.

    i dont care. i have always been very safe with my health and therefore youthful looking and full of life.

    speaking of which i was supposed to get a root canal yesterday but Fate made me lose my wallet until, ironically, the minute that my appointment was scheduled to begin.

    anna kournikova, fresh from a weekend rendevous with her “boyfriend” in Chicago picked me up from work to drive me home to find the lost wallet, and on the way there i told her that she looked better than ever.

    it was tough for me to keep my hands off of her because it had been so long since we had seen each other.

    she smiled and moved my hand from her thigh to her bare knee.

    i pushed it closer to her thigh again and she blushed and pretended not to notice.

    we had a good thing. she apparently has a good thing now.

    win some, lose some.

    i seem to have really lost that one.

    quite a shame.

    especially since danielle will probably be dead very soon.

    sk smith + raymi + makeout city