1. Friday, August 6, 2004

    first things first 

    steph and lola are hot, and i had no business drinking with them at the mondrian poolside last night. i am old. i worry far too much and i should just kick back and enjoy this amazing life the good lord has blessed me with.

    murphys law my xbi phone was ringing off the hook and i accidentally left my camera at home in my haste to get to the airport on time.

    half way there i got a phone call from steph (left) telling me she got a quicker flight with no layover and had already made it into LA and had checked into the posh sunset strip hotel and if i wouldnt mind bringing over a bottle of something fabulous on the way over to the hotel.

    steph is taller than you think. she wore a little something or nother with a plunging neckline that was hard not to peek at. we got to drink for about ten seconds when my cell started blowing up. embarrassingly i walked her over to the skybar with its spectacular views of west hollywood and beverly hills.

    all i wanted was a few minutes of alone time before stephs caped crusader lola was scheduled to arrive, but no, everything i had to do on the phone never let up.

    there was a disturbance, apparently, at the heron house. i had asked nicely for the evening off. but the fella who was covering for me fell ill. ill my eye, once he found out what his assignment was he chickened out.

    so it was my responsibility, of course, to find a new replacement. everyone i talked to was thrilled to hear from me. but when they found out who what and where, suddenly they were busy.

    steph sat there patiently sipping her bacardi o and asking if it was ok to touch my head.

    of course dear.

    i pounded my long island iced tea which comes in a big ceramic apple. let me stress the word big. and at fifteen bucks it better be big.

    finally this dude said he would do it. so i put my phone down and reintroduced myself to step from southbeach and she told me about her flight on song airlines, an outfit i’d never heard of, but she told me that they are like the delta version of southwest airlines but with directv.

    she watched 13 going on 30, which i imagine to be a very good airplane movie for a cute girl.

    and then the phone rang.

    the dude discovered that he had something to do. he asked if i could make a few more calls because he was scared shitless i mean suddenly busy.

    so i called a few more dudes on the list. none of whom wanted to even discuss the fact that i only call them for the suicide missions.

    two guys happened to be in greece for the olympics, as crime, it seems, likes the summer games too.

    a few minutes after i closed him again on the lie that if he did a good job he might get a full time gig with the xbi, lola (above) arrived.

    prettiest girl i’ll ever meet, lola promised, and she wasnt too far off.

    and there they were steph and lola, on the west coast. all smiles and white teeth and tan bods and someone had a pink prada purse and someone had met a surfer boy already and someone got a phone call and someone had to go home early.

    and as i did i thanked my lucky stars for not only having so many cool readers but being able to meet some of them

    on such a summers day.

    steph does south beach + zulieka + flagrant