1. Thursday, August 12, 2004

    if you elected me governor of your state 

    blogger of your website, or even janitor at your bowling alley,

    one thing that you would never ever ever have to lose any sleep over

    is that i would never come to you or call a press conference

    and say, i have been cheating on my lovely wife

    with a man.

    and thats because im as loyal as a lap dog.

    college was tough. i gotta say that.

    jeanine and i were madly in love, but we had some neighbors, and friends who were tempting.

    hell, all of isla vista was a calvacade of hot tamales walking around in their miniskirts or cut offs.

    i learned a technique that i ended up using later in life because it worked.

    if i saw a hot chick walking down the street i looked down on the ground

    if a cutie said hi to me, i would look at her shoes.

    people probably thought that i was a rain man because i wouldnt look them in the eye and i would stutter a lot and i would say definately a lot.

    mons pubis is definately playing at Xanadu Lanes, i would say. definately. right after wapner. definately after wapner.

    the problem is, people dont look at their shoes anymore, and they should.

    anna kournikova has the right idea, she doesnt come over to my house because she knows that she wont be able to keep her dirty little hands off me.

    and vice versa.

    i dont care that theres a gay gov in jersey, and i dont think any enlightened person does. i think they care that he cheated on his wife, and lied to her, and is probably a liar to the public on other things.

    and after reading the buzzmachine, turns out he was a bad governor.

    and thats too bad because some people might think that he was a bad gov cuz he was a gay gov.

    im sure being gay had zero to do with it.

    similarily we dont blame the president for being a bad president because hes a retard.

    we blame him for being bad because he’s a deceptive retard with no vision, no plan, no sense of duty to the country that he represents, and because he deserted during a time of war and then covered it up by destroying the records.

    the gay gov of jersey is bad because he lied to his wife. im sure the corruption that he was part of, allegedly, will start streaming out in the next few days, to the utter glee of those who find glee in those things.

    hopefully it began and ended with appointing his gay lover Jersey Homeland Security director.

    right now i just feel bad for his old lady.

    and i would love it if springsteen could replace him, if only for a little while.

    buzzmachine + kitty bukkake + bunny has lesbo shots