1. Saturday, August 28, 2004

    my true love is coming over 

    we’re going to malibu to eat shrimp. im watching slacker on trio and thinking about the last craig kilborn show that i just rewateched on tivo.

    kilborn was so in love with himself that it was painful to witness.

    he was sel conscious that it would make you self conscious.

    youd think, im not really that disgusting am i?

    and how are you going to compete with conan, who is actually the best late night talk show host on tv. and the funniest. and the most creative.

    and has the most edge.

    why fox hasnt spent the money to get conan and put him on after the news

    like a real network

    is beyond me. we’re going to neptunes net where the bikers are on the weekends.

    surfers during the week. i had a root canal yesterday, the last day of my vacation.

    it wasnt as bad as you’d think. and after i ran into an old girlfriend.

    maybe youve heard of her. anna kournikova.

    she agreed to walk with me to popeyes but she wouldnt hold my hand and she wouldnt let me put my arm around her.

    tony, what if it gets out in the press?

    i was all, you mean what if enrigay finds out.

    if he broke up with me i would be shattered.

    i ate the firecracker shrimp. a man in front of me had asked for free food as he had just gotten out of prison and had no money and had been thinking about popeyes when he was in there.

    if i had even a quarter i would have given it to him.

    you could see his plastic ID wrist bracelet from the twin towers of la county jail.

    and his clear plastic bag of personal belongings.

    i couldnt keep my eyes off of annas crotch area

    or her breasts.

    it was so ungentlemanly.

    i couldnt because there i was so close to where i had been

    and yet so far.

    like putting dog food in the dog bowl two hours before you always do and tell your dogs no!

    maybe later but not now.

    we sat there and i tried to look at her devistating eyes but she wouldnt look at me.

    and i said

    there needs to be a day where you could have sex with any one you want,

    and there would be no reprocussions.

    free love day.

    and she was all, there really should be.

    and we walked back down the street to her limo and after awhile she said, ok you can touch me if you want.

    and i said really?

    and she nodded.

    and i put my hand on her ass and

    held it there for a second as we walked.

    like old times.

    bicycle mark + wisdom goof + wisdom goof’s latest photo essay!