<3_Karisa_<3: yo! <3_Karisa_<3: how are you today, mr. pierce?! mr_dumbassss: eh mr_dumbassss: i want to write but i have nothing to write about <3_Karisa_<3: you can write about how i was in vegas w/my bro and his friends and i had to go to the bathroom really bad. <3_Karisa_<3: we all just drank like 5 beers in 2 minutes. <3_Karisa_<3: so we went down this wierd hallway to use the restroom and the women's room was being cleaned. <3_Karisa_<3: so no one was in the men's room, so i just went in w/all them. <3_Karisa_<3: in a stall. <3_Karisa_<3: then some man busted in and said "you can't bring a whore in here- you will get arrested". mr_dumbassss: ooooooooooooooh <3_Karisa_<3: and they told him to get the hell out of there. <3_Karisa_<3: then my bro went to his store (some wicked lame clothing store) and said "call my sister a whore again and i'll fucking kill you" <3_Karisa_<3: can you believe that? mr_dumbassss: well mr_dumbassss: were you dressed particularily whore-like? <3_Karisa_<3: no! <3_Karisa_<3: i was wearing flip flops! <3_Karisa_<3: it was right after i got there. <3_Karisa_<3: i wasn't in 'vegas attire' mr_dumbassss: ahahaha <3_Karisa_<3: maybe my boobs were slightly hanging out.... but.... mr_dumbassss: were you giving head for $5? <3_Karisa_<3: phmmmph. i think i would charge more than that! <3_Karisa_<3: haha- <3_Karisa_<3: tony! mr_dumbassss: do you follow the pats closely or what? <3_Karisa_<3: close enough. <3_Karisa_<3: btw, my red sox are only 2 games behind. mr_dumbassss: btw i am quite aware of that <3_Karisa_<3: :-) mr_dumbassss: im ignoring baseball right now mr_dumbassss: it depresses me <3_Karisa_<3: it is so exciting! <3_Karisa_<3: red sox are going to defeat the yankees. mr_dumbassss: god willing mr_dumbassss: who is the coach of the pats? <3_Karisa_<3: bill bellicheck mr_dumbassss: why is that fairy tom brady so good? <3_Karisa_<3: b/c he is so hot. mr_dumbassss: is he married? <3_Karisa_<3: no. mr_dumbassss: if he was in that vegas mens room would you still be a virgin? <3_Karisa_<3: haha- only b/c i love my bf and am waiting until we are married ;-) <3_Karisa_<3: did you know he was an 'organizational studies' major? <3_Karisa_<3: wtf is that? mr_dumbassss: football degree <3_Karisa_<3: that is a tenth deduction. <3_Karisa_<3: i've decided to rank everything/everyone like in the olympics. <3_Karisa_<3: they get a start value. <3_Karisa_<3: then they get bonus points & deductions. <3_Karisa_<3: like at dinner the other night. <3_Karisa_<3: 20% tip to start. <3_Karisa_<3: 1 pt deduction for saying she will get me a new beer and then totally forgetting. <3_Karisa_<3: she ended up with an 18.5% mr_dumbassss: after two superbowls i cant imagine a girl like you giving your boy brady anything other than a perfect 10 <3_Karisa_<3: he gets a 10... he had a bonus start value ;-) <3_Karisa_<3: for being super-hot mr_dumbassss: do girls really check out dudes asses or is that bogus <3_Karisa_<3: in football or in general? mr_dumbassss: either <3_Karisa_<3: we do it as a joke really. <3_Karisa_<3: we don't really care. <3_Karisa_<3: now if you turn the boy around... we might sneak seriously glance on that side! mr_dumbassss: as if that would give a girl any clue mr_dumbassss: will the pats repeat as superbowl champs? <3_Karisa_<3: well... we have practically the same team. <3_Karisa_<3: so why not? <3_Karisa_<3: i want them to win, and it would be great. i don't want to be selfish though. <3_Karisa_<3: i want the sox to win more! <3_Karisa_<3: are you still going to come over this evening? mr_dumbassss: no <3_Karisa_<3: you bum! mr_dumbassss: what will be the score tonight? <3_Karisa_<3: patriots: 34 <3_Karisa_<3: 4 touchdown passes from brady <3_Karisa_<3: 2 field goals mr_dumbassss: and indianapolis? <3_Karisa_<3: i will give the colts 24.... <3_Karisa_<3: as a gift. <3_Karisa_<3: so 'no ride' is no excuse. mr_dumbassss: i do need to go home to get my special nfl kickoff rum mr_dumbassss: if i take the subway to hollywood and vine, can i call you to pick me up there? <3_Karisa_<3: yes. absolutely. mr_dumbassss: awesome mr_dumbassss: will you let me bbq for you? <3_Karisa_<3: you must! <3_Karisa_<3: i have burgers and hot dogs. <3_Karisa_<3: we can grill by the pool at halftime. <3_Karisa_<3: bring your swimsuit in case! mr_dumbassss: yeah right brett lamb‘s blog has been invaded by phil collins + kate sullivan + flagrant mentioned my name
up on my blog i will.
especially as a tribute to raymi, who we celebrate today.
the fellas asked me to repost this last week and i never got around to it, so here it is.
theres three kinds of ass out there. and the third doesnt exist.
theres the easy ass. the kind thats always there for you. the kind that poses and whispers and locks onto you and doesnt let you leave the house without a million kisses and wishes.
easy ass gets boring to most, but the wise man learns to appreciate it and not get bored. boring people get bored – especially of easy ass.
billy joel had some easy ass for awhile and divorced it.
kobe cheated on his easy ass.
hef dances with his.
then theres the perfect ass. this is the type that doesnt exist. perfect ass wants you when you want it. perfect ass comes right before you do. sometimes right when you do. perfect ass doesnt bother you when youre crawling under the beach house while youre laying wire on your day off cuz your sick, perfect ass doesnt put you fourth on its list of things to do, perfect ass will make you cry but only out of joy.
there is no such thing as perfect ass.
if you think youve found it, you should marry it, or bottle it, or shake your head because your probably dreaming.
the closest thing youve probably gotten to perfect ass is your hand.
thats not a bad thing.
then theres normal ass.
normal ass is a pain in the ass, but c’est la vie.
you have to work to get normal ass, you have to work with normal ass’s schedule, you have to marinate it, romance it, wine it and dine it.
you have to tell it that it looks good even when it doesnt look so good.
normal ass looks at you like youre normal ass and gets fed up with you just as much as you get fed up with it.
normal ass is forgetful, lies, cheats, fucks up, isnt perfect, isnt always sweet, doesnt always want it, will talk shit about you to the world, will probably make money writing about your ass one day.
normal ass is as plentiful as the leaves of grass and when people say they cant get any ass theyre overlooking the normal ass.
normal ass doesnt like being identified or boxed in or bagged and tagged.
normal ass wants to think that its special, but its not.
normal ass is as normal as the pimple on the ass of a good looking girl.
me, i like easy ass, and i must admit that i get fooled into the idealistic dream that theres some perfect ass out there for me that will love me when it finds out my phone number, and yet im willing to settle for normal ass.
i dont think im much different in that example than most men.
if youre a man under the age of 100, any ass will do, but once you get older than that dont be suprised if you get impatient when perfect ass stops being perfect or when easy ass becomes dull.
even at 109 years old i have never been bored by easy ass, however ive grown tired of jump-through-the-ring-of-fire normal ass.
and because i have experienced perfect ass a few times i can tell you it does exist
even if it was probably a dream.
originally posted 8/7/03
+ kurt vonnegut wrote a pro michael moore op-ed last month, even though i agree with him, i think we’re losing him
+ win $100,000 from the Hot or Not guys
+ as seen on evhead
because there is a God and He loves us. i keep telling you this. none of you listen. but it’s cool. it’s cool.
speaking of which, jeff jarvis wants us to lay off the hate and the evil and the mudslinging when blogging about this presidential election.
at first i was all, “come on hippie, isnt half the fun of a blog to have not only the ability to sling a little mud, but then sling a little more?”
but, as usual, i was wrong.
half the fun of blogging is getting nice emails from hot chicks who want to get naked with you. the other half is getting a chance to practice writing three times a day in front of hundreds of people.
there actually is no room for mudslinging in a proper blog that aspires to be taken seriously. a gentleman should leave that for the discussion boards.
blogs should be setting the standard. we should be setting the tone that tv and newspapers and magazines once had. and even if we shouldnt be, we could be, so therfore we should be.
the busblog doesnt need to lower its standards to the level of others just because theyre doing it.
and since everyone is so frickin confident about their guy’s record, why bother with the bs?
as a reluctant kerry supporter, i hereby take my man jeff jarvis up on his plea. i will no longer talk about our president’s incomplete military record where he obviously took a few months off to go to rehab or bang sheep or do whatever it was that he was doing. i will no longer write about things that are not rooted in the main facts about this particular race.
the facts being the economy, the war on terror, health care, education, constitutional amendments, the seperation of church and state, the war on drugs, wmd, obl, and the war in iraq.
if jeff wants to lay out a few more standards, i believe that will be helpful.
meanwhile, i would hope that any blogger who thinks that they can run a mud-free blog who supports the president will refrain from john kerry’s health records, his opposition to the vietnam war, the swift boaters, michael moore’s weight, etc.
similarily i will not run out and buy kitty kelly’s new book. and if i do i wont write about it.
welcome back raymi. we missed you.
please dont ever go away again.