1. Friday, September 17, 2004

    i dont know too much about the jewish religion 

    i know that yesterday and the day before was rosh hashanah, maybe today is too, but i was too busy at work to ask what that holiday is all about.

    but i do know that whenever theres a jewish holiday here in holiday you are instantly aware how many jewish neighbors we have, because the streets and the busses and the subways are empty.

    empty i tell you, and it’s nice.

    for example, usually madonna (pictured) is at the hollywood and vine subway station doing yoga poses against the coke machine while waiting for the train, but during this holiday apparently she is in temple.

    i think these holidays are nice. i think all spiritual holidays are nice as long as they remain peaceful. and i think all of us commuters in LA are happy whenever the roads are clear, for any reason.

    so in honor of my friends of the jewish faith, especially my buddy jeff solomon and dan kern in tsar, i give you adam sandler’s “Chanukah Song Pt 2”,

    for no other reason than he doesnt have a Rosh Hashanah song.


    Put on your Yamaka

    Its time for Chanukah

    So much funnaka

    To celebrate Chanukah

    Chanukah is the festival of lights

    Instead of one day of presents

    We get eight crazy nights

    When you feel like the only kid in town

    Without a Christmas tree

    Here’s a new list of people who are Jewish

    Just like you and me

    Winona Ryder,

    Drinks Manischewitz wine

    Then spins a Dreidle with Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein

    Guess who gives and receives

    Loads of Chanukah toys

    The girls from Veruca Salt and all three Beastie Boys

    Lenny Kravitz is half Jewish,

    Courtney Love is half too

    Put them together

    What a funky bad ass Jew

    We got Harvey Keitel

    And flash dancer Jennifer Beals

    Yasmine Bleeth from Baywatch is Jewish

    And yes her boobs are real

    Put on that yarmulka

    Its time for Chanukah

    2 time Ocsar winning Dustin Hoffmanaka

    celebrates Chanukah

    O.J. Simpson

    Still not a Jew

    But guess who is,

    The guy who does the voice for Scooby Doo

    Bob Dylan was born a Jew

    Then he wasn’t

    but now he’s back,

    Mary Tyler Moore’s husband is Jewish

    ‘Cause we’re pretty good in the sack.

    Guess who got bar-mitzvahed

    On the PGA tour

    No I’m not talking about Tiger Woods

    I’m talkin’ about Mr. Happy Gilmore.

    So many Jews are in the show biz

    Bruce Springsteen isn’t Jewish

    But my mother thinks he is.

    Tell the world-amanaka

    It’s time to celebrate Chanukah

    It’s not pronounced Ch-nakah

    The C is silent in Chanukah

    So read your hooked on phonica

    Get drunk in Tijuanaka

    If you really really wannaka

    Have a happy happy happy happy Chanukah!