1. Tuesday, September 7, 2004

    my true love and i floated in an infinity pool 

    playing our little game. it was labor day weekend and because shes the sweetest girl of all times people like to pay her to housesit.

    she was housesitting in malibu this weekend. she asked me to help her. this involved drinking, walking around in robes, and enjoying plush carpet barefoot after a combination of sauna + hot tub + massage.

    the house didnt come with a massuse but there was a phone number on the door of the fridge so we decided to splurge a little.

    $100 for the pair of us, half hour each. pretty good deal i think.

    after the ladies left my sweetest and i played a new game called “im more relaxed than you.”

    it goes like this.

    you float on a little raft or chair or boogie board spread eagle toward the sky and you do your best to be as relaxed as you possibly can.

    this involves removing any negative thought or even positive thought out of your head if it makes you anxious/excited.

    from afar it sounds like the popular pool game marco polo because all you hear is one person saying

    i am more relaxed than you.

    to which the other person sings

    i am more relaxed than you.

    the game ends when the winner falls asleep.

    i say winner, but there are no losers in this activity.

    there are sore losers, however. they are the ones who once realizing that they didnt win, technically, decide that a new game must immediately begin.

    yesterday after i had clearly won the relaxation game, my true love decided to play the i can make a canonball off the springboard game.

    to which i floated around saying i am still more relaxed than you.

    to which she dunked me under the warm water and said i am more drunk than you

    to which we began a new competition

    which ended late last night with the lets see who can puke into the pacific while saying the alphabet game.

    no, the terrorists most certainly havent won. and neither has tiger, which is why he needs to stop playing in the pool with his blonde model and get back to playing some serious golf.

    kitty bukkake + nickerblog + bunnie + xtracyx