1. Tuesday, September 7, 2004

    vote for me or die 

    so it’s come to this.

    the pus has risen from the agitated sore.

    red from irritation and dryness and grime.

    “It’s absolutely essential that eight weeks from today, on Nov. 2, we make the right choice,” the vice president (pictured) told about 350 iowans today in des moines.

    “because if we make the wrong choice then the danger is that we’ll get hit again and we’ll be hit in a way that will be devastating from the standpoint of the United States,”

    vote for me or get hit again.

    even though im the one who was in charge when we got hit last.

    even though we didnt go to saudi arabie as 15 of the 19 mothers were saudi

    devistating.

    fear as the motivator.

    a guy whose administration is responsible for the terror alert fear o meter saying

    vote for me or you will get hit unquote.

    canada, now do you see why we cant boot these adorable little monsters out?

    just listen to those words.

    sort of words that dogs would hear if they understood human.

    sort of words little kids hear when theyve been bad.

    do this or you will be hit. again.

    as if we did something wrong the first time.

    as if we had the brief saying that osama was determined to strike

    as if we told everyone that iraq had wmds

    as if we spent a billion a day on a war that had very little to do with being hit the first time.

    dont come at us like we’ve been bad.

    be happy nobody’s coming at you, blaming you, dick.

    and the reason we’re not blaming you dick

    is because we believe that the president of the united states

    really can’t protect us from every single random act of bullshit.

    for if the constitution couldnt protect us from you and george

    then of course we cant expect you to protect us from gasp

    terror.

    heres what we expect you to do:

    loot rape and lie. thats all.

    please dont condescend to the good people of iowa

    who could give a shit about your skyscrapers pre nine eleven

    and dont remember getting

    hit

    during clinton carter johnson or kennedy

    vote for me or die

    what is this the new gwar record?

    if you gave a fuck about iowa youd say this

    we all know weed just makes you laugh and hungry

    and since theres no way in hell that anyone who didnt vote for us last time is gonna vote for us this time

    what we will do is legalize weed, let you grow it, and return you to your rightful place as breadbasket of the world.

    yours will be the lower grade medicinal

    kind

    given to the terminal who need a mellow way to dull the bitter edge of oh cancer diabetes or aids.

    but dick all you know how to croak out is

    vote for me or your dumb ass deserves to die with that pussy triple purple heart gold diggin vietnam volunteer

    who can wind surf and snow board or crawl around like an oompa loompa without fear of having a stroke.

    vote for him and choke.

    tink bares all + welch asks the question of the day + sk smith says an extremely bad word twice