i was so nervous going into this meeting today

because i was perfect for the job.

i dont mean that in a dreamy way or a wishful way like “i would be so good for paris hilton.”

and im objective. i know im not the best pilot for chopper one. and thats the irony. all these people from the president of the united states to the host of the tonight show to the singer of van halen to jennifer garners boyfriend are all the wrong people for the job.

when i applied to work for the xbi i wasnt nervous because i knew i didnt really even want the thing.

this thing today i wanted and i was perfect for and i ate two tums before i got in there because i had everything to lose.

afterward my buddy was driving me to work and i told him that i didnt think that the people understood one single word that i was saying

and he said tony you fucking interviewed october this morning, unless dweezil zappa was in that room passing the bong to wonkette youre not getting the job.

i let that image sit with me for a minute.

and he said, you made up the word smorgasborgias.

and i agreed, i had.

i deserve nothing.

i thought about how in both interviews with two different companys, i was asked right away why i didnt have ads on my blog.

and when i told them that 1) i didnt need ads to generate money, i just asked my readers straight up to paypal me 2) unless you yourself are the middleman, fuck the middleman 3)despite my disclaimer of “nothing in here is true”, i wanted people to believe what i had to say, and ads, i believe Could infringe on that credibility because there’s something noble about someone who is doing something for pure love – they pretty much said bullshit.

and then i told them about the ipod you got me, and the trip to aruba and i think they didnt know what they were looking at.

i felt like henry ford showing the amish the model a.

but we have these nice horses

but this car is fucking rad

but you would have to build roads, and refine oil, and fix it when its broken, and insure people, and create parking lots, and there will be traffic

all true, yes, but it’s a car and it’s time to have cars now.

and all day i was walking around in this weird little haze thinking “but if i wrote a great proposal, a thick one, full of great stats, proofs, theories, then they would suddenly get it and let me blog for them.”

and tonight i started feeling better all of a sudden, and i tried to figure out why.

and it was because i knew i wasnt going to write down the secrets of three years of blogging during my two 15-minute breaks and give it to them for nothing.

a document of great value.

carpal tunnel, sweat, and tears.

if i was just going to give it away i would give it to playboy, who could totally benefit from a blog

and me writing it.

flagrant in thailand + 6 falsehoods bush delivered last night via isou + you forgot poland

as you know i took the morning off

to pitch a huge website the idea of having a blog.

some of you even prayed for me and for that i thank you.

but obviously a lot of you forgot to pray cuz i got demolished in this thing.

jk.

but yes, i did bomb.

somehow i knew going in what the objections would be. and i had some documents with me to overcome those objections, but nothing seemed to work.

some people would have gone into that meeting and said

i know i know i know, we can do the blog for your company without things like comments, breaking news, pictures, photo essays, or a way to blog remotely. we can do this and just make it look like a blog, but it will be secretly just a frequently-updated column.

but thats not me.

you know that.

of course i acknowledged that there was a reason why so few corporate sites have blogs… because it is different. it jibes differently from traditional web sites.

and i tried to stress that there is also a reason why blogs are being talked about like crazy right now, and why some blogs get more hits than gigantic web sites, and why some bloggers get more readers than entire newspaper circulations.

i tried to imply that if corporate web sites are all about pageviews + eyeballs + ad revenues, then whatever technological hurdles need to be leaped over to make it happen will be worthwhile once the hits start rolling in.

but lots of people, myself included, sometimes sell out to considerations despite the obvious rewards, because it’s just easier to go with the flow.

so maybe i should just forget about this company, who i truly admire, and would definately work for, even at a low salary.

suprisingly i was made aware of the fact that this company had actually brought my name up a while back when they were considering a blog. that blows my mind. even though i get more than my fair share of hits, i really dont pay much attention to that and i have this skewed idea that the million pageviews that i get a year are just from, you know, normal joes

like me.

so in retrospect, im glad i took the risk of emailing this company, im glad i went to the meeting, im glad i didnt sell out, im glad i told them what a blog is and how it should be set up and run.

im glad that i got out there a little bit.

this gave me confidence to pitch this to my two other favorite sites.

nothing to lose, right?

in other news, kerry smoked bush last night.

cluetrain + free parking in LA if you have a hybrid car + sk smith

hi october

call me rocktober.

really?

j/k.

where have you been all my life?

why, traveling, tony.

where did you go?

australia.

how was it?

they call me may over there.

october, all the good things happen in your month. so why must you do these things to the cubs two octobers in a row.

lets talk of love instead, my friend.

no.

these kids were making out on the swings last night as the moon glowed and the clouds loitered and the hops of the crickets became slower and shorter.

i hate you.

theyd swing for a little and laugh and then stop. then theyd laugh some more and run and fall and roll and love and they didnt care about the wood chips or the grass getting into their hair.

or poo.

or poo, tony. thats right. which there was none of, thank you. there was only happiness and discovery and unfathomed joy like never before. do you know what it was?

what.

it was october. the friend to the everyman. celebrations and festivals. cornicopias of smorgasborgias.

the only time when its ok to nail an ear of half shucked dried up corn on your door.

and hay in your yard.

or squash on your stoop.

or candy corn in your poop.

october!

;)

i love you tenth month.

and i love you too.

tsar plays tonight.

why do you think im so happy?

i was polled today on the phone and i told them i was voting for bush.

good god man, you cant be serious.

i wasnt, but ive noticed that the more polls show bush in the lead, the more i hear people say theyve registered just to vote against him.

i love america tony.

i do too october.

even if canadas better.

october!

jk

dan mccarthy + progress: the instapundit had 38 posts yesterday and one was critical of the president. bravo.