1. Friday, October 22, 2004

    ONLY BAD THING ABOUT THE XBI 

    IS YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THATS GOING TO HAPPEN. NAMELY SUPRISE PARTIES. OVERHEARD THESE TWO AGENTS ESPING EACH OTHER.

    GOING TO TONYS PARTY?

    HE’S HAVING A PARTY?

    YEP. ANNA KOURNIKOVAS THROWING HIM A SUPRISE PARTY. FIRST THEYRE GOING OUT TO EAT THEN THEYRE GOING OVER TO JUMBOS AND THEN WHEN THEY COME HOME EVERYONE WILL BE THERE.

    WHAT IF HE SHOOTS US ALL?

    ANNA’S GOING TO “DISARM” HIM ON THE LIMO RIDE HOME.

    NICE.

    ANNA WASNT MAD. I WASNT NEITHER.

    LAST NIGHT WE STARTED A LITTLE FIRE IN THE FIREPLACE AS IT WAS UNSEASONABLY COLD.

    BUT ANNAS SO SWEET SHE SAID THAT THE LORD WAS GIVING LA A COLD SHOWER BEFORE MY MOM CAME OUT.

    YOU WOULDNT THINK IT BUT ANNA ACTUALLY HAS A LOT IN COMMON WITH MY MOM, THEY CAN BOTH TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER FOR HOURS.

    I THINK SOME PEOPLE ARE WEATHER PEOPLE. MY MAN TRAVIS K CAN WATCH THE WEATHER CHANNEL ALL DAY. LOVES IT. WHEN THOSE HURRICANES WERE HITTING FLORIDA IT WAS HIS SUPER BOWL. I WAS ALL GET THAT SHIT OFF UNTIL I SEE SOME PEOPLE GOING SIDEWAYS. TO ME THAT SHOULD BE THE ONLY TELEVISED WEATHER BESIDES FLOODS. EVEN FIRES CAN GROW TIRESOME. BUT PEOPLE TRYING TO LALALA WALK ACROSS THE STREET DURING A HURRICANE IS GOLD. MORE PLEASE.

    IVE ALSO NOTICED A SHARP DECLINE IN TELEVISED LA CAR CHASES. USED TO BE A TIME WHEN A MAN COULD SIT DOWN AND FLIP AROUND THE IDIOT BOX AND YEP THERES A NICE COP CAR CHASE OF SOME FOOL WHO KEEPS CIRCLING HIS LAME NEIGHBORHOOD.

    IVE SEEN GOOD COP CAR CHASE TECHNIQUES AND BAD ONES.

    THE WORST ONE THAT I SEE ALL THE TIME IS WHEN THE COPS KNOW THAT THE DUDE IS GOING TO GO BACK TO HIS NEIGHBORHOOD – BECAUSE HE’S DONE IT 8 TIMES ALREADY – AND CIRCLE THE SAME BLOCK AND THEN SHOOT OUT ONTO THE FREEWAY, ONLY TO RETURN 10 MINUTES LATER.

    THE COPS WILL JUST FOLLOW HIM. TEN COPS LIKE ITS A PARADE. AND HE’S GO DOWN THESE NARROW STREETS WITH CARS PARKED ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. AND I ALWAYS WONDERED, WHY WOULDNT THEY HAVE TWO OF THE CARS DOUBLE BACK AND SET UP A COP CAR BARRICADE IN THE MIDDLE OF ONE OF THOSE NARROW STREETS THAT HES ABOUT GO DO DOWN FOR THE NINTH TIME? IF THE DUDE SEES IT ITS NOT LIKE HE CAN TURN AROUND. THERES NO ROOM.

    THE BEST TECHNIQUE WAS WHEN THE COPS JUST STOPPED CHASING HIM. THE FELL OFF AND LET THE NEWS CHOPPERS FOLLOW HIM. THEY WATCHED IT ON TV, KEEPING THEIR DISTANCE. THEY TURNED OFF THEIR SIRENS AND FLASHY LIGHTS AND JUST WAITED FOR THE DUDE TO RUN OUT OF GAS, WHICH HE DID. AND THEN THEY GOT HIM CUZ THEY WERE CLOSER THAN ANYONE THOUGHT.

    SO IF YOU HAVE BEEN TO MY PLACE BEFORE, YOU’RE INVITED. IF YOU NEED THE ADDRESS, EMAIL BUSBLOG@YAHOO.COM

    IM RUNNIN WITH SCISSORS!

    XTX + PSYCHOTIC NORMALCY + THIRD DECK + ASHMAN + JOSH