1. Tuesday, November 16, 2004

    i want anna nicole smith being all crazy. 

    anna nicole i want her drunk. i want her doped up. i want her having to get pulled away from the cameras. skinny or fat doesnt concern me, i want her exactly the way she is. i want there to be violence and bloodshed at the Vibe awards. i want there to be stabbings. i want Dr. Dre involved. not the fat one who’s pal is ed lover, but the wessssside dre, em’s dre, snoops dre. the one who started this gangsta shit. and i want the other guy to leave the award show injured, not the former nwa producer. i want liza minnelli to be sued by her former bodyguard for allegedly beating him and forcing him to have sex with her. any bodyguard who can be basically raped by liza minnelli deserves to be raped by liza minnelli. i want more stories like this. i want britney spears setting new lows for white trash behavior. i want her writing cheesy poems and posting it on her web site. i want gorrila mask to make ruthless fun of her. i dont want dont bring your guns to work day. i want more guns in the workplace. i want the stars of desperate housewives to look like desperate pornstars. i want people who voted against gay marriages to know that teens with same-sex parents are just as fucked up as anyone else, meaning theyre normal. i want to turn on the radio in the morning to howard stern and hear jeff jarvis on there telling him that he’s got the fcc on the run. i want more people lighting themselves on fire in front of the whitehouse. i want spongebob squarepants to sing we are family with barney. and then i want them to sixty nine each other. and then i want gwar to torch the whole thing. while tsar plays and spike jonze films it. and after i want to roast dodgerdogs on the remains and wash it down with makers mark. anti + sk smith + bunny mc