1. Wednesday, November 17, 2004

    laist would never innerview me 

    and im drunk and its late so why not ripoff pay tribute to the fact that heather, who im proud to call an aquaintence got to be funny outside of the walls of salon and the rabbit blog.

    below are the questions that they asked her, followed by my answers. and here are her answers.

    1. Age and Occupation:

    111, loser

    2. How long have you lived in Los Angeles, and what neighborhood do you live in?

    I moved to santa monica from illinios in 84, went to college in santa barbara, moved to atwater for a few years, moved to frisco for 4 years, then moved back to west la and westwood and then three years ago i moved to hollywood.

    3. Where are you from?

    hangover park, il

    4. Is writing during your breaks at work best suited to your style?

    it helps me sit still for fifteen minutes. otherwise im constant motion.

    5. Since your job requires watching endless hours of crimefighting, what do you do to relax after a typical workday?

    nerd out on yahoo fantasy basketball stats.

    6. What purpose does writing the busblog serve for you?

    everyone should have some sort of creative outlet. and if it can get you laid, then right on.

    7. Living in Los Angeles means that you must come into frequent contact with people who work in television. If you socialize with TV writers and other professionals, is there any concern about potential conflict of interest issues? If so, how do you avoid them?

    they still have tv writers?

    8. Television and film commentators sometimes harbor aspirations to generate pop culture rather than exclusively critique it. Are you ever tempted to go to the “other side”?

    one day i will create the new Forbidden Dance and hold pop culture in the palm of my hand. on that day the feeling shouldnt be temptation it should be guilt-free.

    9. What’s your preferred mode of transportation?

    karisas passenger seat.

    10. How often do you ride the MTA subway or light rail?

    twice a day.

    11. What’s your favorite movie or TV show that’s based in LA?

    the brady bunch

    12. Other than “Lost,” are there any other new shows this season you think highly of, or don’t think highly of but enjoy?

    family bonds, nanny 911, best week ever. i’ll miss bill mahers show.

    13. Any thoughts on the Election Day broadcasts? Which network did you stay tuned to?

    i have a two tuner tivo so i had one on fox and one on cbs. fuck the right, dan rather is a classic. and that fact that he knows hes under scrutiny and yet he still partied with calling the election is something you will never see from brian williams or any of the other sellouts like brit hume ever again. the age of anchors with a shred of personality are long gone. abecrombie and fratboy all growed up is where the future of network news is headed and thats why allah invented the internet.

    i was invited to heathers but i didnt want to cry in front of everyone.

    14. Did you think the “Hollywood community” made a difference in the election, or did its efforts only serve to expand the divide between Middle America and the supposed “liberal elite”?

    if by the hollywood community you mean tim robbins and susan sarrandon, they cant even get people to go to the movies, and theyre movie actors. so i didnt think that theyd be all that effective in getting people to the polls.

    middle america loves hollywood and the fact that they didnt do what celebrities asked them to do isnt middle america saying fuck you shuttup, its middle america politely making up its own mind.

    15. Other than regular doses of the “Daily Show,” what other pop culture sources will help us make it through the next frightening four years?

    i plan on learning about wines. im an adult now. i should really figure it all out. ive pretty much mastered all the other spirits.

    16. It’s 9:30 pm on a Thursday. Where are you coming from and where are you going?

    ive probably just started dinner and am downloading porn.

    17. What is the “center” of LA to you?

    amoeba records.

    18. If you could live in any neighborhood or specific house in LA, where/ which would you choose?

    malibu on pch right past the palisades.

    19. What is the city’s greatest secret?

    its diversity. i kissed like five girls last month. only one was white. love that.

    20. Drinking, driving. They mix poorly, and yet they’re inexorably linked. How do you handle this conflict?

    we live in the richest country in the world. if youre gonna spend $50 on drinks all night, spend $12 on a cab home. or the bus is just $1.25. one of the benefits of living in hollywood is either you can walk home from a bar or take a two minute busride.

    21. Describe your best LA dining experience.

    danielle and i took a long lunch, picked up palms thai, ate it at my house. it was a hot day and it was just so nice to not be at work for a few minutes.

    we sang in the car on the ride back.

    22. Do you find the threat of earthquakes preferable to the threat of hurricanes and long winters?

    earthquakes are quick, easy, and then over. some of them are even cute like a hiccup from a sleeping child.

    aint no cute hurricanes.

    and fuck any temperature that doesnt start with a 7 or higher.

    23. Where do you want to be when the Big One hits?

    same place i wanna be under any circumstance, isla vista.

    democracy of one + sean bonner hating on american airlines + zulieka + steve smith