1. Saturday, November 13, 2004

    she said its like porn star net flix 

    you can either take or be taken. and when i was interviewed by black webmaster a few months ago they asked why is that disclaimer up there? and i said cuz if you knew how much was true youd judge me.

    i told her well im certainly not going to be taken.

    she said oh its fun to be taken because you get to stay at her house until she wants to return you. no late fees.

    i said what if i want to leave?

    she said you wont want to leave. key word porn star, tony.

    are they safe?

    safe? thats how it started, here were all these horned up sexy young women who were already being ostracized so why not actually have all of the sex that they were accused of having. and they were all being tested every week. so why not bounce around that small safe fun circle.

    i hadnt even had my apple juice.

    and i barely knew the girl.

    so it was difficult to ask if it would cost me $19.99 like regular net flix.

    fortunately her esp was pretty good and she esped to me right back

    it’s free, you dumbass. it’s porn star net flix, not hooker net flix, which wouldnt be a bad idea, but it’s not.

    and i wanted to ask why me, why was she asking me to be part of it, im no porn star.

    she looked like kristin of madpony minus the southern accent.

    and she pulled out a really old chapbook that i made my senior year of college. poems. collected ones.

    it was called fuck.

    she said, while you think about it, would you mind signing this?

    she bit her heavilly glossed lip and said, theres no disclaimer in this book, does that mean that everything in there is true.

    and i signed my name

    and said, tell your girlfriends i’ll be a taker.

    but my netflix gives me three at a time.

    and through out the night, one at a time, there were seperate knocks at the door.

    and after i lived up to my reputation, we had the hottest game of scrabble youve ever seen.

    douche was played wonderfully

    the whitest girl ever played onyx

    and i made a strong comeback but it was too little to late and since i was the low man they got me to promise that they would get to take me some day.

    and in the morning they had gone

    returned themselves which means today, sex saturday, there will be three new ones.

    and im more nervous today than yesterday.

    cuz those fucking bitches dont play.

    xtx + danielle + splink