1. Sunday, November 21, 2004

    there seems to be great debate 

    about whether or not it was justified that Ron Artest was suspended from the NBA today for 30 games for retaliating against the wrong agressor.

    so we asked the following great minds what their opinions were.

    George W. Bush: i’m very confused by this ruling. i thought it was ok to strike back at someone if you have been harmed. especially if it’s the wrong person. plus they had weapons!

    Condi Rice: yeah!

    Tony Blair: what george said.

    Red States: YEAH!

    Rush Limbaugh: he was clearly just letting off a little steam.

    Anna Kournikova: I noticed that Artest did exactly what Jermaine O’Neal did – they attacked the wrong person. I bet you my panties that O’Neal doesn’t get the same fine as Artest.

    Jesse Jackson: if most of the NBA are african-americans, why is the commissioner white?

    Saddam Hussein: i have two reasons why this shit doesnt happen in my country – rape rooms.

    Mike Tyson: that was the best fight i’ve seen in a really long time.

    Busblog Commentor: Artest sure was a tough guy for beating up the little white guy but backed down to the 7-foot Ben Wallace (and the ref, and the two other pistons)

    City of Detroit: how dare you call us trash! we spit in your general direction.

    Detroit Red Wings: our fans throw squid on the ice all the time. sometimes it hits us. artest got off easy. a squid in the eye isnt a feeling that you can ever forget. *chills*

    Instapundit: I blame Dan Rather.

    Dennis Rodman: Artest is honoring my number. And i am available to replace him during his suspension, fyi.

    Commissioner Tony: I would have suspended Wallace 10 games for starting the fight, O’Neal 10 games for punching the wrong guy, and Artest 0 games for actually not delivering any blows – all of his attacking was defensive – he pushed the white kid’s face, and he threw an arm block – not a punch at the dude on the court. Meanwhile I would make Detroit forfeit the remaining three games that it has against Indiana as punishment to the fan who threw the original cup and the rest of the crowd who doused and punched the players and the coaches who were trying to break up the mele.

    Genie in the Bottle: It’s true Mr. Artest asked me to help him get a month off so he can promote his cd that is coming out next week just in time for the Christmas shopping season. It’s true that now he will be free to tour the talk show circuit without the annoying responsibilities of playing professional basketball, and now he can present himself as a triple-victim (from wallace’s shove to the neck, from the fan’s flying cup, and from the commissioner’s unfair and reactionary decision),

    and yes i told him to be careful what he wished for.

    Ben Wallace: I can’t believe I only got a five-game suspension. That’s what dudes get for just getting caught with coke or weed in their piss tests. Not from starting a figgin mele. I love this game!

    FCC Chairman Michael Powell: The commissioner should change his mind and suspend Artest for the rest of the season. The american public totally loves unfair punishment.

    David Stern: Done!

    annika + verbungle + wes + zulieka is hotter in person + basketbrawl.us + one day left to nominate