1. Friday, November 5, 2004

    the worst days for hits 

    are saturdays, which could mean two things:

    a) enjoy the freedom

    b) try to do something that makes people remember to come here on saturdays

    the best idea of course is Sex Saturdays

    most people want to see titties and read dirty stories on the busblog but most of them are reading from work and most of us dont have big fancy private offices so you sorta have to keep it clean if youre trying to hit a certain demographic

    its not that i dont want to appeal to the lowest common purient intrest, shit. but thats greasy kids stuff that anyone can do.

    so the idea was on Saturdays people would be at home dickin around playing tetris or whatever people do on saturdays on their home computer, so if a M-F reader knew that they were going to get a bonus for coming back to their second favorite blog on the weekend, maybe they would.

    and on it i would show naked pictures of like, say, tara reid whose dress seemed to slip off her shoulder the other night at puff daddys 38th birthday party revealing a boob job, which upon closer examination is really something to sue over, not expose willingly.

    the text would be dripping of detailed explorations of my sexual past which has been full my friends and definately worth reviewing because seriously half the time i say, that shit happened to me? im as average as any light skinned black american can be. so most of the stories would be along the lines of, “i was sitting there doing nothing like the lameass that i was and the lameass that i am now. when a knock came from the back. i put down my pornography and went to the door. there she was, tanned, smiley, and thank god above drunk as shit and dying to bone.”

    (im not saying it would be particularily good. im just saying it would be different than say what you normally read on here on most days.)

    and then i would go into the wild night with as much attention to detail as one would hope for from a man who was trained that a reporter goes places the reader cannot go and tells the story with a punchy lede, facts, quotes, and details. the daily nexus taught me how to sneak some humor in there when noones lookin.

    which brings us to the point of all of this.

    which is yes i want to bring back the concept of sex saturday, only problem is this, how does one do it in such a way that people are rewarded for coming here on the weekend, but not (un)pleasantly suprised by bosoms as they scroll down the page on monday morn?

    i didnt have the answer for that until today

    what you do is you write whatever bullshit youre going to write on saturday, but when youre done you link to a webpage off of the blog that leads to the sexy story you want to tell.

    like so.

    and i wish i could take credit for this simple and perfect solution, but i cant. the hat tip needs to go to the cheerleader from the other night who for the sake of confusion we will call anna kournikova who was so excited to be mentioned on this blog that she told me she had baked chocolate chip cookies and wanted to bring them to me after the game tonight.

    and as i was thanking her she said oh my god, stop, and i wiped my mouth with the duvee and crawled up next to her and she said i figured out how to bring back sex saturday

    and i wonder, can you fall in love with a girl after just three dates?

    a very special matt welch post + a picture is worth 420 words + i heart flagrant + wtf stoked me first