1. Tuesday, December 28, 2004

    Never give out your password or credit card number 

    in an instant message conversation to raymi le minx.

    raymi says: father christmas?

    me: my love

    raymi says: last time i interviewed you

    me: so raymi le minx, you have a new man in your life. tell us about him

    raymi says: no

    raymi says: you are such a gossip queen

    raymi says: like i know i am the paris hilton of blogging et all…

    me: you talked about him in your blog just now

    raymi says: yes well ok what do u want to know, u have to be specific and i have to agree to how the question is asked because if you havent noticed these days i am a big witch

    me: ive never seen you as a big witch

    raymi says: ok

    me: and no, you will answer the questions

    raymi says: well it’s kind of a front

    me: i know

    raymi says: shut up

    me: where did you kiss him first?

    raymi says: on his mouth

    me: drunk or sober?

    raymi says: i forget

    me: did he kiss you or did you kiss him

    raymi says: i think i instigated it because i am the horny sex monster and he is more reserved

    me: what made you instigate

    raymi says: he’s a babe

    me: was it his ass or his eyes?

    raymi says: he’s the full package, like a hundred feet tall and geeky like me as in smart and he’s older, i’m attracted to oldness

    raymi says: he also has a motorbike

    raymi says: and is sensitive but also an asshole and likes cats bla bla, arent bloggers going to be annoyed by all this cute love shit?

    me: never pander to the audience

    me: theres a picture of you on one, can you drive one?

    raymi says: no thats not me that’s aimee u moron

    me: you guys look totally alike

    me: plus i dont believe half your blog half the time

    raymi says: well it’s all true u big gay

    raymi says: just kuz yer blog is all fantasy crap doesnt mean everyone else lies

    me: good point. so wait are you in love?

    raymi says: yes

    me: how long after kissing him did you tell him that you loved him

    raymi says: i didnt have to tell him i think he got the point

    me: so youve never told him

    raymi says: yes i have

    me: how long after kissing him did you tell him that you loved him

    raymi says: i forget

    raymi says: my philosophy on loving someone is, just say it and who cares how they react. although some dudes are big commitmentphobes kuz maybe their ex lova’s were cunts to them and did bad things so now theyre all nervous about being involved

    either way, as a species, humans are not meant to be alone so u may as well jump right in whenever u get the chance, and eventually u find the one who u decide not to fuck around on because u know theyre not gonna do that to you

    raymi says: ok this is me basically interviewing myself, what the hell are you doing? are you crying?

    me: im giving you time to type, ho

    me: take it easy

    me: how many boyfriends have you told that you loved them

    raymi says: all of them

    me: haha

    me: why are you being so defensive

    me: youre miss i dont give a fuck

    raymi says: im not being defensive

    raymi says: when was i being defensive

    me: youre not answering the questions and you know it

    me: i may as well interview the president

    raymi says: which question did i not answer to your liking?

    me: all

    me: how many bfs have you had

    raymi says: u asked me which boyfriends did i say to them i loved them

    raymi says: and i said all of them

    raymi says: did u want more detail?

    me: of course

    raymi says: ok next question.

    raymi says: well be more specific with your questions.

    me: fine

    raymi says: remember yer talking to the majorest deflector of personal questions ever who is also a smartass

    me: why do you deflect personal questions

    raymi says: and also every single ex bf reads my blog who will in-turn read yours. u ding a ling.

    me: fuck them

    me: why are you suddenly caring what people think

    me: you just totally reamed non-size-0 women in my comments

    raymi says: because i grew a conscience

    me: and yet youre worried about 5-6 exs

    me: uggg

    me: let me extract it

    raymi says: well ask me a question that i feel like answering then

    raymi says: im allowed a bit of privacy arent i

    me: whatever you say naked chick

    raymi says: grr

    raymi says: so because i get naked that means i have to share all my dirty secrets.

    me: definately

    me: because talking about kissing and love is so dirty

    raymi says: thats bullshit and you know it

    raymi says: ok ask another question blonty

    me: are you happy that i bought jaime’s poster of you

    raymi says: do u want me to talk about the two drug dealers who were abusive to me, and negative shit like that

    raymi says: yes i am happy.

    raymi says: i am drawing a picture for you right now in paint

    me: awesome, email it to me when youre done and i’ll post it

    me: no i want you to talk about love and kissing

    raymi says: ok last nite we got loaded drinking whiskey and ginerales and i was like YOURE CUTE every 3 minutes and kissing him and shit and we were watching return of the king and he was all sick and i was crawling around being drunk and gay and he was drunk too and took a bunch of not flattering pictures of me and my pants pulled down

    raymi says: gingerales not ginerales

    me: i love gingerales

    me: is it the canadian national non beer drink

    raymi says: we ran out eventually and so went to coca cola

    raymi says: i guess so. u can mix it with beer to, that drink is called a shandy, shandy ale. it’s very british.

    me: never heard of that

    raymi says: well thats because u are american and u dont any better

    me: ps youve never taken a bad picture

    raymi says: well u dont get to see those ones

    raymi says: hm i am making u a gay banner

    me: how did you know i needed a gay banner?!?

    raymi says: well u use them all the time so maybe u might want one made by me

    me: if they change it so foreigners can run for president i would run with you as my vp

    me: and the whole fucking thing would be televised

    me: on pay per view, fuckrs

    raymi says: and then we would be assassinated

    me: fine with me

    raymi says: no i dont want to be assassinated. i want to live and be scared that i will be assassinated one day, i dont want it to actually happen though

    me: are you familiar with the works of mr. gg allin?

    me: i believe he was canadian

    raymi says: who the fuck is that

    me: great punk singer

    me: didnt give a fuck

    me: had the tiniest weiner

    me: didnt give a fuck

    raymi says: thats another thing about canadians, we dont even know which ones of us are canadian. if you arent celine dion or john candy, then you arent canadian. basically

    me: cut himself with broken bottles when he sang his bad punk songs that were oddly really good

    me: i dont think he was canadian

    me: i made that part up

    raymi says: wow he sounds like he didnt get much attention as a kid

    me: i think he was from jersey

    me: hed poop on stage and throw it at the crowd

    raymi says: thats fucknig dumb

    raymi says: i’d punch him

    me: he kicked the fans

    me: all he would ever have on would be cowboy boots

    me: for kicking people

    me: when are you moving?

    me: and where to?

    raymi says: toronto

    me: how far away are you now?

    raymi says: not too far

    me: are you moving in with your boy?

    raymi says: no

    raymi says: with ward

    me: do i know ward?

    raymi says: i write about him all the time. he is an idiot savante

    me: whats idiot about him then?

    raymi says: he’s very smart in that dept. like taking them apart and putting them back together again and he builds them for people as a side business

    raymi says: oh he’s ADD with a sprinkle of dyslexia and he’s kinda socially inept and doesnt think til after he does something and doesnt remember stuff.

    raymi says: u know like so smart that hes dumb. like rainman cept in a different way.

    me: how did you meet him?

    raymi says: drama class, high school.

    raymi says: grade 11 i think, tho he is a year older, the worst acting skills that i have ever seen

    raymi says: fucking hilarious

    me: you really need to be filming your entire life

    raymi says: i know

    raymi + about raymi + i think manic