1. Saturday, December 25, 2004

    the oldies station 

    has been playing christmas songs for weeks and the best one so far has got to be james browns funky christmas or whatever its called.

    it sounds like any old james brown song except hes not really singing hes just kinda rhyming.

    then they’ll play don henly and then david bowie and then johnny mathis but the motown ones continue to stand out. the jackson five, smokey, and the temptations white christmas is unreal.

    even with all the selection, this Christmas i loaded up on heavy doses of elvis’s double christmas album. in the past it had been sinatra but this christmas i couldnt get enough of the king.

    last night i attended a christmas eve party at my old roommate chris’s venice home.

    we clinked glasses after acknowledging that hes come a long way after sleeping in the bottom bunk below me, an area that he dubbed Chris Land which he wrote on the mexican blanket that he used as a drape to provide him (and his girlfriend) privacy.

    chris has recently remodeled his two bedroom one bath home into a four bedroom three bath modern wonder complete with a koi pond and a slam dunk area for the kids.

    this morning i opened my presents and my mom had sent me flannel pajamas, sweaters, and candy, and my sister had sent me nirvanas box set. who says im hard to shop for?

    my truest called me and we discussed the greatest Christmas scamola of all time.

    she said that up in Oregon you can pay a guy dressed like Santa to come to your house and drop off gifts and i was thinking, why dont you buy a shit ton of gifts from SantaDeliveryDude.com and for an extra $25 he will deliver them on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, but youve gotta set it up two weeks before Christmas.

    Then you hire all the Santas that you’re gonna need and pay them $10 a house. shit, those dudes will go to way more than 10 houses. and what they can say is, “ho ho ho, billy, we seemed to have forgotten a gift. i think rudolph kicked this out of the sleigh.

    and santa hands over the gift to little billy who falls over in disbelief

    and santa pats him on the head

    walks out of the house and into the awaiting limo.

    Merry Christmas from halftime of the laker game.

    im off to santa monica to munch on an organic turkey and then pick karisa up at the long beach airport.

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