1. Sunday, December 12, 2004

    selling out 

    is a big deal to me. it might be impossible to explain but who knows, it might not.

    the general idea is to try to remain yourself and not a tool for someone and not a whore for something and not a victim to small-time greed.

    simply put, remain yourself no matter what.

    for example, when this thing all started nobody conceived of ads on blogs. blogs were simply devices to get chicks to send you dirty pictures. just because you can throw some filthy ad on your blog and make a few extra bucks doesnt mean that you really should.

    im sure johnny rotten could get visa to pay him to wear their logo but i would feel differently about him if he did.

    keeping it real also means to communicate in an honest way no matter what.

    when nobody is paying you, when youre not anyones bitch, you can say anything.

    you know why the instapundit never says anything bad about the republicans. cuz hes their bitch.

    theres no other explaination for it.

    you know youve sold out when you cant say exactly what you want to say on your own blog. people say that blogs dont have editors… the sellouts certainly have editors – their sponsors.

    and its the worst sort of editors, the unspoken ones.

    personally i dont ever want to be anyones bitch. maybe its because im black. maybe its because im a proud american. maybe its because freedom to me is everything.

    and it might also be because money doesnt own me, i own money.

    i have a fucked up job that pays me shit, but im good at it, and it allows me enough positive opportunities that it has been worth it. plus im solving crimes.

    but the tradeoff is i cant afford a car.

    fine, no car means that each month im not just squeaking by.

    i would much rather not have a car than have ads and somehow be someones bitch.

    i have one ad. that credit report ad. the dude paid me up front via paypal and all i had to put up was five words.

    and whats ridiculous is those five words own me until march. in a bizarre way i have to have this blog up until then or i have to give back some of the money.

    i hate that.

    i might not ever have ads again because of that.

    ultimately i dont ever want to get close to the temptation of any selling out because i want my readers to believe me when i say things. and when youre someones bitch you shouldnt be trusted and odds are youre not telling the whole story so fuck you.

    this era that we’re living in is amazing in that we can reach hundreds of thousands of intelligent people all over the world.

    given that opportunity and then squandering it on contrived bullshit would be a tragedy in my opinion.

    and i will continue to do everything i can to avoid it

    even if im misunderstood in the process.

    here are some people who have kept it real: dylan, neil young, bukowski, johnny rotten, gg allin, spike lee, hunter thompson, bill murray, spike jones, the beastie boys, howard stern, sandy koufax, snoop dogg, eminem, prince, jd salinger, larry flynt, harry caray, angus and malcom young, william hung, simon cowell, jim rome, bill maher, emily dickinson, kurdt kobain, sonic youth, tom waits, the sopranos, al sharpton, rivers, tsar, lynda barry, raymi, danielle, karisa, and vincent gallo.

    im an author + chokey chicken + gorilla mask + fc bearded