1. Thursday, December 9, 2004

    a year ago 


    being that this is probably the only blog you’ll read today written by an african american let me say a few things about how i feel about kwanza, since its approaching and all.

    fuck fucking kwanza.



    our fucking dude was born and youre going to even for a second whip out some fucking bullshit kwanza nonsense.

    motherfucking santa claus wasnt enough?

    my bro ian drove me home today from work. we were going to the mountainside hollywood hills secret lair so usually we just go straight up wilton.

    wilton north of beverly has some kickass homes. two million dollar ones. million dollar ones. big ones. bigger ones.

    huge ones.

    on some of the huge ones i saw some equally ginormous christmas decorations. i saw a blowup snowman that was at least a story tall and twenty feet wide.

    i saw christmas lights the size of footballs.

    and yes, i saw some giant images of santa claus.

    of all the people in the world who should be saying, “man im glad you were born, my lord,” it should be them, the filthy rich.

    but instead they celebrate the birth of their messiah with huge images of winnie the pooh wearing a fake white beard

    like fucking fools

    waiting by the mailboxes etc for their golden calves to arrive.

    and then theres kwanza.

    one thing black people can do well is praise jesus. we do it better than anyone in the world. the music we make when we do it might be the most magical of all music, the preachers we have might be the best there ever were, and the clothes we wear to church are the sharpest.

    then on the flip side we have our brothers and sisters who are muslim, and watch them pray. they win at praying. they win at pilgrimiging. they win at letting their spirituality become a solid and regular part of their lives.

    with those two options, theres no need for any damn kwanza. some watered down bullshit made up strip mall phony holiday so you can wear a koofi? fuck that shit. we need to focus up on the biggest birthday of the year. we dont need no stinkin kwanza getting in the way.

    black folk, the racists want us to have kwanza. it makes us look ridiculous and lost. kwanza represents something missing from being Christian. racists dont want black folk being Christian. they dont want to be equals to us. they dont want to share beliefs, they dont want to have anything to do with us, cuz they know that familiarity destroys ignorance, and only the ignorant can remain hateful.

    worst thing you could do to a racist is go to his church, stand next to his daughter, sing the songs better, know the word better, and exclusively talk about america as if its your home and has been for hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years longer than him.

    watch him smile when you talk about africa, cuz thats where he wants you.

    keep your koofi.

    pass the turkey.

    read the bible.

    f old santa

    and the kwanza

    and the reign deer

    and the pooh bear.

    and the sleigh bells

    and the dead trees.

    get on your knees

    thank the savior

    wrap your presents

    say your dumb prayers.

    – page 204, 205 from How To Blog

    the unsomnambulist + the deputy + pauly d