1. Tuesday, January 25, 2005

    “the baby nodded” 

    church. rock music. sex. drugs. you.

    all these things are mixed inside,

    churning, breathing, oozing seeping.

    seeking for that right combo

    and you know how you can tell when

    ive had the right amount:

    my hair.

    sometimes its nicely proportionate

    you look adorable in peppermint

    sometimes it looks like dirty weeds

    i was at Wal-Mart yesterday thinking

    about how i will turn out as a parent

    moms were pussyfooting around with their precious angels

    and the dads werent putting up with jack

    id say junior hand daddy that baseball bat

    are you buying that for us poppa

    no im going to beat you better yet

    go over to the gun section and get me a single

    pump rifle and either you shut up and just

    look at the merchandise like good children

    or point and scream at what you want

    and i will try to shoot your little pointy finger

    and if i hit you, well, you lose

    but if i miss then i will buy the item

    your little heart desires.

    i think i’ll have good kids.

    i think i’ll raise the type of kids who’ll either

    understand all

    or grow up planning my death with such detail

    and creativity that even i’ll be

    proud to have sired them.

    born on a whim.

    the lightbulb is dim.

    shes dancing and smiling and motioning and drinking gin

    all the red auras of yesterday are sinking in

    grateful dead matriarch smoking dope in peoples park

    in oakland its another thing

    in chinatown a man named Ding

    and you expect me to understand

    i do i dont i give a damn

    i was aiming at your finger Sally but i picked off

    the babies hand the babies hand oh god a doctor

    i shot the babies hand

    well he was pointing my oldest said

    and stinking up and crying, dad

    whats fair is fair my girl agreed

    the baby nodded and looked at me.

    a twenty something life + soxaholix + danielle is back