i have the greatest life.
all girls are different. unique in all their little ways, but sometimes someone comes around who’s different in big ways.
ive met born again christian girls, ive met bible thumpers, and yes ive met a few virgins.
i dont know why virgins are attracted to me, maybe because im gentle and funny and my ways are clumsy and therefore disarming.
with that said, i dont like to be with virgin girls because its never a quickie little hey lets romp and then a quickie little adios. virgins will remember you forever and they will hold you in a place of high reverence that you will never be able to live up to.
its one of those nice problems.
but a problem nevertheless.
theres also no future with virgins because you cant have a long term relationship with someone who has never gotten it on with anyone else, because what happens if you do decide one day that you want to marry her, what fool is gonna marry the only dude she ever banged?
no fool of mine.
and a lot of times when i meet virgins in their early to mid twenties theyre born agains, and i have my ideas about the bible. and i will say something like, why do you think there are no stories about unmarried people having sex, and no commandments against pre-marital sex between two unmarried people? and we’ll talk and i’ll be nervous because what if im wrong. i dont want to send someone down the wrong path.
but there arent any stories about unmarried sex being bad. and in my opinion the reason that adultry is frowned upon isnt because sex was involved but because a committment was broken.
i always feel selfconscious when i tell people that the biggest problem that people have is their fear of happiness. because since im usually saying that to girls who i want to get with, im obviously not the most objective speaker, and therefore probably not the most trustworthy voice.
and this girl the other day hadnt even kissed a boy since high school and for the first time in a very long time, someone came into my house and blew my mind without pushing everything off the coffee table.
and right then i wanted to see what every dude at her private college missed out on.
but it was three am and i was starving.