1. Wednesday, January 26, 2005

    had a little tap on my door last night 

    it was one of the girls from the academy awards.

    they come to my house with dvds so that i can review them on the busblog.

    their belief is that i will write about the films and they will get more attention and it will create “buzz” and it will cause the box office receipts to increase.

    whatever. all i know is hot babes show up in the middle of the night and i get to see new films with them.

    last night we watched million dollar baby starring mr clint eastwood, mr morgan freeman, and that chick from boys dont cry.

    everything was fine when the evening began. i didnt know that the academy would be visiting me so i broke out my new george forman grill and cooked up some steaks.

    i think i overcooked them.

    didnt matter, i had a huge bowl of peas with a nice baked potato in the middle of it. butter soaking into the legume. pepper sprinkled nicely everywhere.

    petra, the young lady arrived and looked a little hungry, so we each had a steak and split the vegetables.

    we drank C2 from the coca-cola family of products.

    morgan freeman played a mellow morgan freeman. old, wise, understated. never wrong.

    clint eastwood played a mellow clint eastwood. ragged. stubborn. old. never wrong.

    the chick from boys dont cry played an eager girl-boxer. young. cut. postitive. never discouraged.

    as she started boxing she knocked people out pretty quickly. some of the boxing world characters were shady. everyone except for morgan and clint and the chick.

    the only flaw in any of the characters seems to be that clint’s character is a little conservative in the way he picks opponents.

    petra had seen the film already and assured me that it was one of the best in the year and definately deserving of all the nominations.

    we debated whether Passion of the Christ wasnt better than this. she said, oh heavens no.

    she had a short skirt on and boots.

    i hadnt made love to a girl in months. although it seemed like years.

    i said, if i say that this movie was better than the passion do we have to finish watching it?

    she said, yes.

    i said, what if i say that this movie was the best movie of the year even though nothing fascinating has happened an hour and fifteen minutes into it? then can we go into my room and play reindeer games.

    she said what are reindeer games?

    i said, you know, i pretend that im santa, and you pretend that youre a lonely young woman watching pornography, i climb down your chiminey and startle you and your towel falls off.

    she said, what does that have to do with reindeers?

    i said, at some point someones nose will begin to get red and glow.

    young petra considered this while i cleared the plates and microwaved the popcorn and when i returned i realized that million dollar baby was the best movie of the year.

    superzeros + panama jane + much love to mass live