1. Monday, January 17, 2005

    how is it that ellen is getting hotter chicks than me? 

    i’ll tell you how, shes got a better job than me.

    and a bigger dick.

    although today karisa came over and i was simply wearing a towel and the girl is still losing weight on account of not having a drop to drink since the begining of the year

    and i was all, dude you have no ass

    and she was like, i have an ass, trust me.

    but she has no ass.

    but she kept turning around making me look at it.

    and lil tone wanted to take a lil peekey boo but its sunday so i had to get up and finish shaving off four week beard.

    in nine and a half hours i will be job interviewing for the job of my life.

    i should go to sleep but how do you sleep with that going on.

    this has been a very odd weekend.

    it was super warm.

    threeway chatted with raymi and matthew good but then karisa was here with little warning.

    i talked to a woman who taught at the famous university that im applying to gradschool and not only did she remember meeting me years ago but totally remembered a poem i wrote and remembered that i had posted it twice.

    and she had put it on her blog.

    i asked her which one it was and she said it was about a prom queen

    and i was all, me?

    she was like, yes you!

    i asked her if it was ok that i had some swear words in some of my poems

    she was all, oh yeah.

    and i was relieved.

    but i still doubt that i will get in so in ten hours i have this interview for the greatest job for me of all time.

    today karisa and i did laundry.

    in my last perfect job i hired people for an internet company. i hired hundreds and hundreds.

    karisa was the last person i was responsible for hiring.

    she made me scrambled eggs today and a waffle.

    this is what im going to say in the interview tomorrow.

    i will do anything you want.

    i will have more ideas than you can possibly imagine.

    i dont care if you hate every idea and call me stupid. i am stupid.

    i wont need a parking space, i dont need any supplies, i dont even need a phone, i could work from home if you prefer.

    please let me start in two weeks.

    i’ll pay you.

    in my last job i took a 50% pay cut to stay there and work next to people like karisa.

    theres nothing like a great job that youre perfect for.

    and when i wake up, i’ll be a little closer to one.

    all my readers are hot + colon cancer kills 44yr old exmcdonalds ceo + zulieka