1. Friday, January 21, 2005

    i usually fall in love with america 

    about ten times a day, but i gotta give it up to the people who went down to dc and told the president to go fuck himself.

    a real president would have stopped his limo and gotten up on the roof of his ride and pulled out his megaphone and said

    my fellow americans

    i know you dont like me, and thats ok.

    but i promise all of you that i will listen to you more this time, i will work harder to represent All of this fine nation, and do whats best for the planet at large.

    im sorry that you havent always supported everything that i have done these last four years, but with your help, i think you’ll see that a house united can perform miracles.

    i know your prayers and well wishes are with our service men and women fighting for freedom in iraq and afghanistan, and i think you’ll be pleasantly suprised to know that we have agreed to pull them out of there by april first. no joke.

    we are not the world’s police.

    i also asked for the resignation of that house negro, michael powell, who has done a horrible job as fcc chairman. i am pro first ammendment. even if i dont know what it is.

    for those of you who have brought eggs to hurl at me, heres your chance. aim high. but remember, there are starving kids in every american city. why dont you fix them some omlettes instead.

    whoops. guess you dont care about the kids. well i do, for every egg that hits my limo i will send an omlette to a homeless person, so go ahead, yes, ahh. ooh a brown one. dont see many of those — ok — ok thank you. See you at the ball, oh thats right, youre not invited.

    i used to have a girlfriend who would sit around topless reading one book after another on my bookshelf. if i would have read her this aloud she would have turned the page and said, tony why dont you just run the world?

    and i would say because then i wouldnt have any time to service you.

    and then i would service her.

    completely.

    maybe thats what bushie thinks hes doing to the world

    servicing us all.

    but man it was sad when instead of standing on top of his limo, he had the dude floor it so that the tv cams wouldnt hear/see the protesters treat him like ashlee simpson as he sped by like a pussy ass bitch.

    i cant wait to vote.

    luke hackney + sk smith + fook the people