1. Tuesday, January 11, 2005

    lots of people compared me and ashley 

    with drew and tom green, but i like to think it was closer to drew and adam sandler.

    im a lot less canadian in real life than i appear on the web.

    im trying to think of the best time that i ever had with ashley. it might have been the first time i kissed her.

    i was in las vegas for business.

    undercover business.

    i could stay anywhere but ashley asked me to book somewhere off the strip.

    she was my new best friend, and vegas has no bad hotels so i got a place super close to where she was living.

    i picked her up and she was a little wisp of blonde and white and youth and excitement. lots like her pics but moreso. very much the fairy that she imagines herself as being.

    sorta weird for a hardened crimefighter like myself who normally deals with the seedier side of mankind and not the soft fluffy and mythical.

    picked her up after making it through two security gates and we drove around the strip and made it to my room.

    always uncomfortable when you dont know a girl and you’re all, sooo, wanna come up to my room?

    fortunately she said yes.

    i had diet cokes cold chillin in my specially designed diet coke container.

    i pay per viewed drew’s Charlies Angeles, which we had both seen before and liked

    and then i made the hey-wanna-massage move

    turned out ashley loved being touched

    and didnt notice that i was a little rusty with the South Side Shiatsu technique that i used to fucking master.

    her hair was thicker than i expected. i could see her smiling via a well placed mirror.

    then i could see that her eyes were closed

    so i wispered permission to kiss her neck

    and lady luck shined down on me as permission was granted.

    what i wrote a few days later + and this + and this