1. Tuesday, January 25, 2005

    middle managers write in all the time 

    for advice on how to better motivate their employees.

    i was a manager for about an hour an a half.

    i was the greatest manager of all time in that i didnt ever complain when people were late, i let them go home early whenever they wanted. i flooded them with compliments, and i let them do the type of work that would help them in the future.

    plus i handled all the hard stuff and sheilded them.

    they revolted, of course. mutiny was arranged, and i was let go not soon after.

    strangely the rest of the company revolted and i was hired back minutes later.

    not as a manager, however.

    so i always find it interesting when people come to me for managerial advice since my official time was so fleeting.

    i do have a tip for today though.

    dont schedule department meetings during the staff lunch hour.

    some may find it disrespectful and distracting.

    i know that when i used to give training seminars to salespeople that if i ever did it first thing in the morning or during lunch, i would make sure to bring food or risk an angry audience.

    theres a superhot girl here at the xbi who keeps a blog who has asked me not to link to her. its because sometimes she writes about the office and she doesnt want our mutual coworkers to read what she has to say about our workplace.

    i can respect that.

    im sure she can also attest for the fact that if either of us wanted to, we could write a friggin 7000 page novel about this madhouse.

    we had such a pleasant talk the other day about it. we speculated, is it because of all the violence? is it because of all the mensa members? is it becuase of the mixture of military and civilians? is it because since we’re all top secret its because everyone thinks that theyre smarter than the next guy?

    its hard to say but its a crazy place and i do my best not to write about it and she does her best not to write about it, but sometimes its so shocking that its hard to resist.

    for example today this dude came in drunk. literally drunk. problem is he doesnt talk to anyone. so someone said, hi agent and he nodded. we were doing our best to get him to say something, but he was on to us.

    we kept going past his desk but he kept getting up and leaving.

    finally we got this cute girl to help her with her “stuck” drawer.

    he said, “im not drunk, ive just been drinking. are you telling me that the xbi hasnt led you to drink?”

    she opened up a different drawer and showed him her bottle of merlot and we all went our seperate ways.

    i was all, nice job baby, wanna go to lunch?

    but she couldnt cuz she had a meeting.

    green catfish + tiffany + anti has the best pics