1. Monday, January 24, 2005

    one of the nice things about being a million years old 

    is that i got to grow up watching johnny carson, one of the classiest on-air personalities ever. you dont see a lot of that these days.

    perhaps the problem is that with competition came crap, and with crap came people thinking that they had to dumb themselves down to the crap.

    carson had pretty much zero competition. for most of his run there were only two other serious networks and only one of them, abc, had anything semi-worthwhile to watch (nightline), but if you wanted to see celebs being interviewed by a real celeb there was only one “choice”, Johnny.

    yes people will say that arsenio was competition but he wasn’t. he was a clown. he embodied some of the worst stereotypes of black culture, and even though he wasn’t gay he sure acted and dressed faggy. and now history has shown him to be the clown and fad that we all suspected that he was. woof woof indeed.

    I understand and respect that Carson was a deeply private man. I understand that that led to his request to have no memorial service, but what I don’t understand is how he let leno take his chair. Carson clearly had a bond to Letterman, the last interview show that he did was on the Late Show. during one period of time The Tonight Show accounted for 17% of all of NBC’s income, so therefore why on earth wouldnt the network have allowed Johnny to pick his obvious successor?

    because hollywood is run by idiots who havent a clue what originality and talent is, for if they did you wouldnt even know arsenios name and leno would be a comedian that you’d see from time to time in vegas, and as a guest on the tonight show starring david letterman.

    johnny carson sailed his yacht to africa and hid out in malibu and kept as far away from tvland after he retired on purpose, because it’s a dirty world slithering with gutless snakes and untalented mimics.

    when they say there will never be another johnny carson again it’s true. with a zillion channels, how are you ever going to find a network willing to take a chance on a low-key intelligent talk show host who enjoys jazz and class?

    and what network would give someone years to build his audience and catch on to his style and allow for the time that it takes to bring back the lost art of conversation?

    if i ran my favorite channel, e!, i would have a late night talk show hosted by a young intellect who enjoyed the finer parts of life, entertainment, and wished to follow in the footsteps of the late great johnny carson.

    this person would have to be funny, enjoyable to watch, central to the hollywood infrastructure, and interested in being on television every day.

    and different to what has already been paraded in front of us for late night interview shows.

    my choice of course would be miss drew barrymore.

    whose movie acting skillz are thin and beautifully disguised.

    however, if i was showtime or hbo, i would give howard stern a boatload of money once he moves over to Sirius and i would put him on HBO3 or Showtime3 and present his radio show uncut from the hours of 7p-11p and give people an alternative to the primetime crap that they currently have.

    of course youre not going to watch howard for four hours every night, but you might watch him for a half hour or for an hour of maybe even for 90 minutes if theres nothing on “regular” tv.

    and there will be boobies.

    showtime should seriously consider it because showtime3 from 7p-11p isnt luring anyone away from the networks during primetime and the two van damme movies that they would be playing at that time have been already seen by whatever meatheads would be tuned in, and those fellas, im sure, would much rather seen midgets throw balogna at the asses of porn stars via the howard stern show.

    because if you cant find another johnny carson, you may as well go the opposite direction. especially if that other direction is interesting and risk-taking and fresh.

    and if i ran mtv thered be a late night concert every weeknight hosted by mr henry rollins. of course.

    kitty bukkake + britcoal + how appealing + starskream