1. Thursday, January 6, 2005

    ryne sandberg, the best second baseman of all time 

    called me to ask me why i hadnt yet given him props for making it into the hall of fame.

    i told him that it was because i was busy this morning getting shot and and later stitched up.

    while they stiched one part of me, they examined some stiches they put in on the other side of me. the doc said, you heal as fast as a five-year old kid.

    we joked and i said that they need to get some gag blood hooked up to the examining bed that would squirt out at the (in)appropriate time.

    the nurses were all, why?

    i said, cuz it would be so awesome to think blood is squirting out of my head without the pain that usually accompanies it.

    a dear new reader asked in the comments “what is the xbi?”

    the xbi is the agency that i work for. its like the fbi and the cia had a baby but the baby carried a gun.

    we steal from theives and give to the poor. whats left over we give to the cops who then run to the tv stations and say “we recovered $1 million and 75 guns!”

    when infact $1.5 million was missing and 100 guns were gone.

    i want to quit. i want to work with the cuban girl at her marketing company. i dont want to fight crime with crime any more. i dont want to fly around in chopper one any more. i want a creative job where i dont have to get stitched up twice a week or make people scared and piss their pants and vomit and


    now the catch 22 is, if it werent for the xbi there would have been no busblog, which i created to get my head out of the nightmare of being an undercover superhero, but now that the snowball has begun rolling, i think it could adjust to a new way of earning my daily bread.

    lost was awesome last night.

    but not as awesome as #23 for the cubbies who hit the game winning home run in 1977 where the cubs beat the phillies 23-22.

    at least thats how i remember it.

    congrats ryno.

    the comedian + betser + anti