im not a handsome man.

and im old.

and i dont have the best lighting in my bathroom.

which means today after i shaved my head i still had some stray hairs jutting out. which of course i didnt notice until after lunch. which of course meant that the former nfl cheerleader was probably totally staring at it when we talked. and oh everyone else.

but i knew about it when the virgin girl picked me up at the xbi after work and drove me home.

the very same swedish virgin girl who kissed me on the cheek tonight, thank you very much.

who i have a date with on friday.

who i told tonight, tuesday night, that on friday night get ready for what happens on all dates.

and she said, aint gonna happen.

and i said, im sorry, but it must.

and she said, must it?

and i said, oui.

even though that isnt even close to swedish, but its all i had.

and she said, no tony its not going to happen.

and she was serious.

and i said, you mean youre not going to take your pants off on our date?

she laughed. in a good way.

then said no.

100. tomdog

101. david g

we have a good thing going.

the whole time today she was asking me about my age. how old was i.

she gave me a vodka from her far away land which made me drunk.

i babbled. i did all the things a man shouldnt do when he was doing perfectly fine when he was keeping it cool. i opened my mouth.

one may call it honesty but if you notice only one is calling it that

the rest of us are calling it dumb.

and i kept catching myself being honestlydumb but the mixture of the liquor and her she could have gotten anything off me.

she just settled for all the tsar i had

and my age.

she was all, you dont look a day over 101.

and i was all, get ready to get kissed on friday

and she said, i dont think so.

i said, sorry, its gonna happen.

and she said, we’ll see

which everyone knows means yes tony yes.

hells kitchen + eric + zen for lunch + heroine girl

a year ago

this week a new radio station appeared in LA that changed our lives

im listening to 103.1 LA’s Indie which WILL NOT for any reason stop playing pearl jam.

they, just this minute, segued from bob marleys “redemption song” to “spin the black circle”.


why would you do that?

in a million years tell me how pearl jam is Indie?

they also seem quite infactuated with the pretenders.

last night we were trying to get it on and they put on “middle of the road”. i was scared that limbaugh was about to come on and tell us this whole new alternative radio station was just a big fakeout.

now its the police “born in the 50s”. now this i can live with. infact i love it. classic rock isnt gonna play that. kroq isnt either.

a niche has been found on radio, america.

its incredible!

ive had this thing on since nine this morning.

karisa called me from vegas asking what i was doing, i told her i was listening to the radio.

she asked 103.1?

i said yep.

i was thinking what it could be like to be any better. they could tell you what song you just heard, thats for sure.

but i dont want djs. pornstars maybe. politicians, celebrities, homeless, kids. but by all means no djs.

right now its got no commercials which is mighty awesome. they have all the music in the world to choose from. they did a velvets song. i heard public enemy. i could use a smidge more hip hop. believe it or not, but not so much nirvana. maybe some live tracks.

they played kiss me on the bus last night as we got home.

nearly died.

rabbit blog + kate sullivan + unknown column

some of you might not remember

the rules of commenting on the busblog.

i wrote a post about it, but the general idea, is a) tell me im right b) tell me im amazing c) tell me how much you love the blog.

disagreements should be kept to yourselves, especially when discussing the most sensitive issue that you could ever talk with me about: the failures of the chicago cubs and the fact that they will probably never win a world series as long as im alive.

for the meantime lets just agree to disagree.

those of you who think that it’s smart for the cubs to pay the orioles $10+ million to take a superstar hall of famer who hit 35 homers on an off-year, and get nothing back in return other than a guy with a broken foot and two minor leaguers – i wont call you any names.

but id like to, cuz youre part of the problem.

im thinking about boycotting the cubs over this move.


and now for a nicer topic, the success of this blog. which is all due to you.

last month the busblog got more hits than any other month in its history. in fact, it more than doubled the hits that it got the year before. and the year before we werent doing so shabby at a thousand hits a day. last month we averaged over two thousand hits a day.

whats amazing about the success of this blog over the last year is there was no instalanche, there was no crazy spike, there was no ridiculous stunt. what there was was a slow, steady increase month after month with only a minor correction over the summer.

(which obviously means we need a summer swimsuit special each friday this summer)

last night i was interviewed by a lovely young lady who asked me about blog popularity. what the busblog’s success can attest to is that the best way to grow is not to suck up to one or two a-list bloggers and pander to them feeding them link-worthy posts for them to point to, but instead to build relationships with a wide network of truly like-minded blogs who will naturally link to you (and vice versa.

the problem is, if you rely on one or two big-named bloggers, if you fall out of favor with that person, then your hits drop off rapidly. but whats worse is, if you were indeed just echoing your sponsor, then you havent established yourself as anything more than a parrot and therefore if your sponsor begins to link you again, his readers will be less likely to click on you, as you are an obvious suck-up kissass and have nothing new to give to the discussion.

if however, you have been keeping it real all along, and every time that someone comes to your page they are rewarded, you will establish your own audience who will be more likely to remain loyal. once you have a base to build from, the sky’s the limit.

or you can do what i do, which is talk a shit-ton of smack, burn bridges, and put half-naked pictures of models on the page and watch the hits soar.

i keed.

if theres one thing that i can say has aided to the success of this blog this year it’s one post. one ridiculous post that i made while on a 15-minute break, how to blog.

it has been linked all over the world, it led to a book, it got me on tv, it got me nominated for a bloggie award, and it got people to read a few other posts on this blog which got a few people to bookmark me.

the other big success was due to mr wil wheaton telling his readers that despite the fact that i was being a douche and hating on him for being more popular than me (boo-hoo) he recommended that people come to this blog. so thanks wil, youre quite a man.

its sunny today in hollywood. summer has returned. it’s seventy degrees.

im wearing my long sleeve how to blog shirt. the only busblog tshirt i recommend. the others looks sorta crappy.

while we’re at it, im having a sale on my autographed books. email me if you want to pay about $25 for one, shipping included.

gregarious recluse + frozen toothpaste + low culture