people think that im not looking for love. they assume that im not just as interested as the next person in marriage and kids and houses and station wagons and braces and recitals and second mortages and little league practices.
the truth of the matter is im not at that stage in my life right now. hell, im just lucky that i even have a valentine tonight.
which i do.
with a virgin.
who made me the sweetest card and left it at my door step
which isnt the best idea because the squirrels could have eaten it.
love knows no age or race or fashion or anything
love comes and goes with the randomness of a butterfly flight pattern, and it’s just as hard to capture.
i dont ask the cheerleaders anymore what astrological sign they are cuz it doesnt matter, i dont ask them what they want in a man cuz everything changes, i dont dwell on their past loves cuz unless every single dude was the same exact type the past is the past is the past is the past.
i asked her the other day to be my valentine and she said k and i asked her if she’d ever had one before and she said no which is normal cuz she hasnt had very much before of anything regarding a boy
which means of course we have to eat at a fancy italian restaurant tonight
even though she said pizza on my couch would be fine
“i dont know why you want to be with me all the time” she giggles but people dont like each other because of the crazy positions they hope to tangle themselves into after desert, people like each other because theres a chemistry there, some hidden forces, some nom de plume, something that makes them giggle.
and afterwards we will stroll and get desert
and then a film in my screening room
and then if im lucky she will let me kiss her.
and if shes lucky i will let her kiss me back.
the other day we were walking past a lingerie shop and i said oh i can see you in that and she said oh no you cant
and i said would you wear something like that for your boyfriend
and she said nope
and i said get out
and she said, seriously, nope.
i was all, you wear less than that cheerleading
she said cheerleading i have nylons and cheer shorts and panties on. three layers.
i was all, sigh, i guess i’ll have to settle for the cheerleader outfit.
and she said, dont hold your breath.
and if i had a nickel for every time a girl said no to me and ultimately did precisely what i had originally asked for, id have enough nickles to get from here to the moon.
i also got her a heart balloon.