i have to say,

i had pretty low expectations for chris rock hosting the oscars this year, but he was totally perfect.

much sharper and courageous than i expected him to be.

when chris rock is on a roll theres no one better right now.

heres the parts of his monologue that went after the president. a tough trick considering how sensitive republicans can get when you criticize dear leader, and double-tough considering how skittish democrats are to attack publicly.

rock broke it down, laid it out, and delivered it beautifully

without hate, without anger, with just classic comedy fundamentals.

A lot of people like to bash Bush. I’m not gonna bash Bush here tonight. I saw ‘Fahrenheit 9/11’, I think Bush is a genius. I thought Bush did some things this year nobody in this room could do. Nobody in this room could pull off.

Bush basically reapplied for his job this year. Now can you imagine applying for a job, and while you’re applying for that job, there is a movie in every theater in the country that shows how much you suck at that job?” (Laughter)

I’d be hard to get hired wouldn’t it?

Now I watched Fahrenheit, I learned some stuff man. Bush did some things you could never get away with at your job, man. Never, ever, ever.

You know, when Bush got into office he had a surplus of money. Now there’s like a $70 trillion dollar deficit. Now, just imagine you worked at the Gap.(Laughter)

You’re closing out your register, and there’s $70 trillion dollars short. (Laughter)

The average person would get in trouble for something like that, right? (Laughter) Not Bush, no. (Laughter-Applause)

Then he started a war, that’s cool, support the troops, he started a war. Now just imagine you worked at the Gap.(Laughter)

You’re $70 trillion behind on your register, and then you start a war with the Banana Republic…(Laughter) ’cause you say they got toxic tank-tops over there.(Laughter)

You have the war. People are dying. A thousand Gap employees dead, that’s right, bleeding all over the khakis.(Laughter)

You finally take over Banana Republic and you find out, they never made tank-tops in the first place.(Laughter-Applause)

video of the entire monologue + cheese and crackers oscar roundup + calvin and hobbes archive

fucked up and didnt let paul westerbergs fine label vagrant

know that i was interested in going to the anaheim show last night until the last minute, so all they were able to get me was one ticket to the sold out gig.

the lovely swedish virgin who lives near anaheim drove up to pick me up so we could drive back down there and go to the show, then she would drive me back up here and then drive back home in the wee hours. thats a great girl.

so i called the house of blues box office before she got to my hollywood hills batcave and they confirmed that i was getting one ticket only. they also told me that yes, there were no more tickets for sale.

so we drove to the surreal and embarrassing downtown disney and she told me that she had a disney year round pass a few years ago and i was all youre kidding me and she said no i love disneyland. shutup.

we parked and i went to the atm and took out $60 for the ticket i was going to have to try to buy off someone and then i went to the box office to get my ticket and the sweet girl hung back and waited for me as i tried to beg one last time from the dudes in the box office. they talked about it and decided that no, there were no more tickets.

i got my one ticket, turned around to see if anyone was selling any tickets and there was my hot little girlfriend jumping up and down telling me that some dude saw her there for the two full minutes that i was away from her and handed her a free ticket.


i guess the magic kingdom isnt so bad after all, i told her. she said, see, and we strolled in.

awesome show. full of life and beautiful music. i think now after 12 years im finally not suprised that his mellow songs are actually mellow.

and as soon as i became comfortable with that he doubletimed “i will dare” after the second verse and turned it into pure punk rock and there was that magic again.

someone later loudly requested “bastards of young” to which paul said, “that song belongs to the replacements, i will never ever ever ever play that without tommy.”

afterwards we went to the pantry, ate steak and eggs, and then steamed up her windows for an hour out front of my house cuz we both know if she steps foot inside she’ll never leave.

mr westerberg and his only friends played thirty songs last night

1. Merry Go Round
2. Someone take the wheel
3. Live forever
4. Makin’ me Go
5. Let the Bad Times Roll
6. As Far As I know
7. Battleship Chains
8. Kiss me on the Bus
9. Final Hurrah
10. AAA
11. Rebel Rebel
12. Swinging Party
13. Knockin on Mine
14. Folk Star
15. Mr. Rabbit
16. Psychopharmacolgy
17. Born For Me
18. High Time
19. Little Mascara
21. Crackel and Drag
22. If only you were lonely
23. Lookin Up in Heaven
24. What a Day for a night
25. Love untold
26. I think I love you
27. I will dare
28. IOU
29. MPLS ( long jam version)
30. Alex Chilton

paul’s page + splinky + jim lowney