every year i think, maybe this year

i will seriously cover baseball in the busblog. the national pastime. the reason for everything. what seperates us from the monkeys.

baseball. where two words evoke more hope and good feelings than even “free beer”

pitchers and catchers.

the palm reader said she had good news and bad news for me. i said give me the good.

she said you will have a beautiful girlfriend who will be loyal and bright and openminded and honest and giving and risking and wonderful and cute.

and then she gave me the bad news.

but she will be a veer gin.

i have a swedish palm reader.

but she knew enough about my sensibilities to say, but pitchers and catchers report in a week.

that was several weeks ago and all of her predictions were right.

and tonight i will see rock music with her and today i will consider blogging about the greatest sport of all, and tomorrow i will wake up alone in my bachelor pad without the girl who i call mine

without sammy sosa at ho ho kam park

with a blog that will never be as dynamic and indepth and accurate and revealing and as wonderful as mr gleemans

but not everything is in the cards the palm reader often says and i say youre a palm reader and she says not everything that needs to be seen can be seen in your hand

gladly.

so she shuffles the deck and i cut it and she spreads out a row of cards, flips one over and then another

and then another

and then sighs

and then she flips over the last card and looks me in the eye and i dont see a smile on her face but i dont see horror in there either.

she reading the cards and me reading her

its a fascinating standoff of bullshit artists trying to read between the lines of lies

scientists with no proper education theorizing theories

she asks for my hand and i give it to her

she holds it palm up

takes my fingers to her upturned nose and inhales

her eyes get big and she says youve cheated on her and i protest

for i havent

she says but but

i say sometimes when i get nervous i like to put my hands in my armpits like this and

she laughs

shes always trying to fake me out and im always trying to freak her out

she says that girl will be a woman before the springtime

i ask before opening day?

she says before they break camp.

and thats how you get a big tip.

xtraxyx + kitty bukkake + tao of poker