i will seriously cover baseball in the busblog. the national pastime. the reason for everything. what seperates us from the monkeys.
baseball. where two words evoke more hope and good feelings than even “free beer”
pitchers and catchers.
the palm reader said she had good news and bad news for me. i said give me the good.
she said you will have a beautiful girlfriend who will be loyal and bright and openminded and honest and giving and risking and wonderful and cute.
and then she gave me the bad news.
but she will be a veer gin.
i have a swedish palm reader.
but she knew enough about my sensibilities to say, but pitchers and catchers report in a week.
that was several weeks ago and all of her predictions were right.
and tonight i will see rock music with her and today i will consider blogging about the greatest sport of all, and tomorrow i will wake up alone in my bachelor pad without the girl who i call mine
without sammy sosa at ho ho kam park
with a blog that will never be as dynamic and indepth and accurate and revealing and as wonderful as mr gleemans
but not everything is in the cards the palm reader often says and i say youre a palm reader and she says not everything that needs to be seen can be seen in your hand
so she shuffles the deck and i cut it and she spreads out a row of cards, flips one over and then another
and then another
and then sighs
and then she flips over the last card and looks me in the eye and i dont see a smile on her face but i dont see horror in there either.
she reading the cards and me reading her
its a fascinating standoff of bullshit artists trying to read between the lines of lies
scientists with no proper education theorizing theories
she asks for my hand and i give it to her
she holds it palm up
takes my fingers to her upturned nose and inhales
her eyes get big and she says youve cheated on her and i protest
for i havent
she says but but
i say sometimes when i get nervous i like to put my hands in my armpits like this and
shes always trying to fake me out and im always trying to freak her out
she says that girl will be a woman before the springtime
i ask before opening day?
she says before they break camp.
and thats how you get a big tip.