im not a handsome man.

and im old.

and i dont have the best lighting in my bathroom.

which means today after i shaved my head i still had some stray hairs jutting out. which of course i didnt notice until after lunch. which of course meant that the former nfl cheerleader was probably totally staring at it when we talked. and oh everyone else.

but i knew about it when the virgin girl picked me up at the xbi after work and drove me home.

the very same swedish virgin girl who kissed me on the cheek tonight, thank you very much.

who i have a date with on friday.

who i told tonight, tuesday night, that on friday night get ready for what happens on all dates.

and she said, aint gonna happen.

and i said, im sorry, but it must.

and she said, must it?

and i said, oui.

even though that isnt even close to swedish, but its all i had.

and she said, no tony its not going to happen.

and she was serious.

and i said, you mean youre not going to take your pants off on our date?

she laughed. in a good way.

then said no.

100. tomdog

101. david g

we have a good thing going.

the whole time today she was asking me about my age. how old was i.

she gave me a vodka from her far away land which made me drunk.

i babbled. i did all the things a man shouldnt do when he was doing perfectly fine when he was keeping it cool. i opened my mouth.

one may call it honesty but if you notice only one is calling it that

the rest of us are calling it dumb.

and i kept catching myself being honestlydumb but the mixture of the liquor and her she could have gotten anything off me.

she just settled for all the tsar i had

and my age.

she was all, you dont look a day over 101.

and i was all, get ready to get kissed on friday

and she said, i dont think so.

i said, sorry, its gonna happen.

and she said, we’ll see

which everyone knows means yes tony yes.

hells kitchen + eric + zen for lunch + heroine girl