1. Sunday, February 20, 2005

    part one of an exclusive interview with annika 

    from annika’s journal

    xxxx annika xxxxx: so do you want to do the interview now or later

    dumbtp: now would be awesome
    dumbtp: do you have the time?

    xxxx annika xxxxx: k yah
    xxxx annika xxxxx: im all nervous now

    dumbtp: oh please, anything you want to delete, just let me know

    xxxx annika xxxxx: i cant believe im talking to THE tony pierce
    xxxx annika xxxxx: author of How To Blog

    dumbtp: ahahaha
    dumbtp: easiest book ever to write
    dumbtp: its called cut and paste

    xxxx annika xxxxx: haha. wanna write a childrens book and sell it on cafe press

    dumbtp: have you tried making a book from them yet?

    xxxx annika xxxxx: but i cant draw
    xxxx annika xxxxx: not yet, it looks pretty easy, except for all the pdf stuff

    dumbtp: transfering a word doc to pdf takes one tiny program. its a snap

    xxxx annika xxxxx: i’ve been practicing my watercolor skills this weekend so i can do the book
    xxxx annika xxxxx: my book will be a story about a family of rabbits
    xxxx annika xxxxx: in space

    dumbtp: how would they breathe?

    xxxx annika xxxxx: havent figured that out yet
    xxxx annika xxxxx: but they will have adventures
    xxxx annika xxxxx: and maybe solve crimes and shit

    dumbtp: put astronaut helmets on them from the 70s
    dumbtp: i imagine theres lots of unsolved crimes in space

    xxxx annika xxxxx: big fishbowl type helmets

    dumbtp: exactly

    xxxx annika xxxxx: of course there are

    dumbtp: well i asked to interview you because i was very impressed with your last interview with whats his name

    xxxx annika xxxxx: Matt Rustler
    xxxx annika xxxxx: it was pretty fuckin long, but i’m glad you read it

    dumbtp: you seemed like 109238741423324 times more intelligent than i took you for

    xxxx annika xxxxx: hah, thanks i think

    dumbtp: no no its a compliment

    xxxx annika xxxxx: im a friggin genius
    xxxx annika xxxxx: but i looove you 2

    dumbtp: yay!
    dumbtp: have you ever been with a black man?

    xxxx annika xxxxx: um yah

    dumbtp: nice

    xxxx annika xxxxx: haha

    dumbtp: what about a blogger?

    xxxx annika xxxxx: lol, never dated a blogger befo
    xxxx annika xxxxx: that i know of

    dumbtp: i dont blame you

    xxxx annika xxxxx: haha, it would suck if i read about all my eccentricities on the web

    dumbtp: im sure they would come across as charming
    dumbtp: are you very eccentric in relationships?

    xxxx annika xxxxx: im a freak

    dumbtp: control freak?
    dumbtp: clean freak?
    dumbtp: attention whore?

    xxxx annika xxxxx: no, i guess i’m pretty normal, but it seems that for years now, i haven’t been able to go more than four months in any relationship
    xxxx annika xxxxx: it’s always four months and out
    xxxx annika xxxxx: i don’t know, it must be a magic number or something, but i get bored

    dumbtp: what month are you in now?

    xxxx annika xxxxx: i just finished my four months

    dumbtp: and?

    xxxx annika xxxxx: so i’m looking
    xxxx annika xxxxx: haha

    dumbtp: get out!
    dumbtp: ahahahaha

    xxxx annika xxxxx: Yah, Matt took that interview when i just started dating that guy
    xxxx annika xxxxx: but its over now

    dumbtp: ohh, im so sorry!

    xxxx annika xxxxx: no biggie, it was my decision

    dumbtp: seriously do you think you were bored?

    xxxx annika xxxxx: yah, i’m hard to please

    dumbtp: how many of these 4 monthers have you dumped?

    xxxx annika xxxxx: hmmm, um the last guy, mike
    xxxx annika xxxxx: before that was jason
    xxxx annika xxxxx: then peter
    xxxx annika xxxxx: so im on three in a row

    dumbtp: thats not so bad
    dumbtp: at least you see the problem and get rid of it

    xxxx annika xxxxx: haha, true

    dumbtp: what did those dudes not understand?

    xxxx annika xxxxx: you know, i can’t really blame them.
    xxxx annika xxxxx: Mike just had no ambition or interest in anything outside his own little world
    xxxx annika xxxxx: not that there’s anything inherently wrong with that, but it started to bug me
    xxxx annika xxxxx: like one time i was talking about current events and he said, “sorry, I guess I’m just not a news buff.”

    dumbtp: ahahaha

    xxxx annika xxxxx: but then i sometimes get carried away
    xxxx annika xxxxx: still, what’s a news buff? Following the news is like breathing, not something i even think about doing, it’s so natural

    dumbtp: so being buff isnt enough, now you want a buff news buff?

    xxxx annika xxxxx: buff is good

    xxxx annika xxxxx: Hey Jeff Gordon just won the Daytona 500

    dumbtp: didnt he cheat on his wife?

    xxxx annika xxxxx: i dont know, i dont follow racing, but my bro does

    dumbtp: i was watching stefanapolis

    xxxx annika xxxxx: George Stepopotamus, as i call him

    dumbtp: i was waiting for him to talk about jeff gannon

    xxxx annika xxxxx: for no particular reason

    dumbtp: whats your take on that?

    xxxx annika xxxxx: Well, i always liked Gannon, especially a few years ago,
    xxxx annika xxxxx: but was very disappointed in his superbowl performance, and then he got injured

    xxxx annika xxxxx: and now hes over the hill

    dumbtp: so sad

    xxxx annika xxxxx: seriously, when i heard the story about jeff gannon, thought they were talking about Rich
    xxxx annika xxxxx: i was very confused

    dumbtp: its hard for me to seperate the two as well

    xxxx annika xxxxx: What’s the story anyway, Bush gave him press credentials so he could plant questions in the news conferences? is that it?

    dumbtp: lets hope thats it
    dumbtp: some say he was there because his boyfriend is the press sec
    dumbtp: or that he blackmailed himself in there

    xxxx annika xxxxx: What’s this about him being a male prostitute?

    dumbtp: escort
    dumbtp: $200/hr
    dumbtp: or $1200 a weekend
    dumbtp: which seems like a bargain

    xxxx annika xxxxx: REeeealllyyy?
    xxxx annika xxxxx: i never heard that.

    dumbtp: how else can you get past the secret service?
    dumbtp: and why would you have to pay a dude for something that half the press do for free?

    xxxx annika xxxxx: Jack Bauer did it easily in season one

    dumbtp: jack bauer is hotter

    xxxx annika xxxxx: haha

    xxxx annika xxxxx: Well, you know, who was that blogger that was fucking half of Washington

    xxxx annika xxxxx: oh, duh, the washingtonienne

    dumbtp: washingtonne, only fucked a quarter of dc

    xxxx annika xxxxx: Sounds like there’s a lot of sex going on in that town

    dumbtp: then why wont they let the rest of us get any?

    xxxx annika xxxxx: Hey what’s your take on Wonkette, if i may ask

    dumbtp: i think shes great
    dumbtp: i wrote her two fan emails
    dumbtp: she answered the first one
    dumbtp: then she got super famous

    xxxx annika xxxxx: i saw her on Charlie Rose, and Andrew Sullivan was rude to her

    dumbtp: i missed that one!

    xxxx annika xxxxx: he wouldn’t let her speak

    dumbtp: i hate catfights

    xxxx annika xxxxx: lol
    xxxx annika xxxxx: but she had this bang thing going, where it kept falling over one eye

    dumbtp: so hot

    xxxx annika xxxxx: and she kept brushing it back
    xxxx annika xxxxx: the guys i was watching it with were very turned on by her

    dumbtp: why she isnt superdooper famous is beyond me
    dumbtp: how come she and washingtonniette arent doing a sunday morning show on mtv?

    xxxx annika xxxxx: that would be hott

    tune in next time when we talk a little bit about iraq, basketball, and charles bukowski

    danielle + leah + my old boss is in paris hilton’s phone book