part one of an exclusive interview with annika

from annika’s journal

xxxx annika xxxxx: so do you want to do the interview now or later

dumbtp: now would be awesome
dumbtp: do you have the time?

xxxx annika xxxxx: k yah
xxxx annika xxxxx: im all nervous now

dumbtp: oh please, anything you want to delete, just let me know

xxxx annika xxxxx: i cant believe im talking to THE tony pierce
xxxx annika xxxxx: author of How To Blog

dumbtp: ahahaha
dumbtp: easiest book ever to write
dumbtp: its called cut and paste

xxxx annika xxxxx: haha. wanna write a childrens book and sell it on cafe press

dumbtp: have you tried making a book from them yet?

xxxx annika xxxxx: but i cant draw
xxxx annika xxxxx: not yet, it looks pretty easy, except for all the pdf stuff

dumbtp: transfering a word doc to pdf takes one tiny program. its a snap

xxxx annika xxxxx: i’ve been practicing my watercolor skills this weekend so i can do the book
xxxx annika xxxxx: my book will be a story about a family of rabbits
xxxx annika xxxxx: in space

dumbtp: how would they breathe?

xxxx annika xxxxx: havent figured that out yet
xxxx annika xxxxx: but they will have adventures
xxxx annika xxxxx: and maybe solve crimes and shit

dumbtp: put astronaut helmets on them from the 70s
dumbtp: i imagine theres lots of unsolved crimes in space

xxxx annika xxxxx: big fishbowl type helmets

dumbtp: exactly

xxxx annika xxxxx: of course there are

dumbtp: well i asked to interview you because i was very impressed with your last interview with whats his name

xxxx annika xxxxx: Matt Rustler
xxxx annika xxxxx: it was pretty fuckin long, but i’m glad you read it

dumbtp: you seemed like 109238741423324 times more intelligent than i took you for

xxxx annika xxxxx: hah, thanks i think

dumbtp: no no its a compliment

xxxx annika xxxxx: im a friggin genius
xxxx annika xxxxx: but i looove you 2

dumbtp: yay!
dumbtp: have you ever been with a black man?

xxxx annika xxxxx: um yah

dumbtp: nice

xxxx annika xxxxx: haha

dumbtp: what about a blogger?

xxxx annika xxxxx: lol, never dated a blogger befo
xxxx annika xxxxx: that i know of

dumbtp: i dont blame you

xxxx annika xxxxx: haha, it would suck if i read about all my eccentricities on the web

dumbtp: im sure they would come across as charming
dumbtp: are you very eccentric in relationships?

xxxx annika xxxxx: im a freak

dumbtp: control freak?
dumbtp: clean freak?
dumbtp: attention whore?

xxxx annika xxxxx: no, i guess i’m pretty normal, but it seems that for years now, i haven’t been able to go more than four months in any relationship
xxxx annika xxxxx: it’s always four months and out
xxxx annika xxxxx: i don’t know, it must be a magic number or something, but i get bored

dumbtp: what month are you in now?

xxxx annika xxxxx: i just finished my four months

dumbtp: and?

xxxx annika xxxxx: so i’m looking
xxxx annika xxxxx: haha

dumbtp: get out!
dumbtp: ahahahaha

xxxx annika xxxxx: Yah, Matt took that interview when i just started dating that guy
xxxx annika xxxxx: but its over now

dumbtp: ohh, im so sorry!

xxxx annika xxxxx: no biggie, it was my decision

dumbtp: seriously do you think you were bored?

xxxx annika xxxxx: yah, i’m hard to please

dumbtp: how many of these 4 monthers have you dumped?

xxxx annika xxxxx: hmmm, um the last guy, mike
xxxx annika xxxxx: before that was jason
xxxx annika xxxxx: then peter
xxxx annika xxxxx: so im on three in a row

dumbtp: thats not so bad
dumbtp: at least you see the problem and get rid of it

xxxx annika xxxxx: haha, true

dumbtp: what did those dudes not understand?

xxxx annika xxxxx: you know, i can’t really blame them.
xxxx annika xxxxx: Mike just had no ambition or interest in anything outside his own little world
xxxx annika xxxxx: not that there’s anything inherently wrong with that, but it started to bug me
xxxx annika xxxxx: like one time i was talking about current events and he said, “sorry, I guess I’m just not a news buff.”

dumbtp: ahahaha

xxxx annika xxxxx: but then i sometimes get carried away
xxxx annika xxxxx: still, what’s a news buff? Following the news is like breathing, not something i even think about doing, it’s so natural

dumbtp: so being buff isnt enough, now you want a buff news buff?

xxxx annika xxxxx: buff is good

xxxx annika xxxxx: Hey Jeff Gordon just won the Daytona 500

dumbtp: didnt he cheat on his wife?

xxxx annika xxxxx: i dont know, i dont follow racing, but my bro does

dumbtp: i was watching stefanapolis

xxxx annika xxxxx: George Stepopotamus, as i call him

dumbtp: i was waiting for him to talk about jeff gannon

xxxx annika xxxxx: for no particular reason

dumbtp: whats your take on that?

xxxx annika xxxxx: Well, i always liked Gannon, especially a few years ago,
xxxx annika xxxxx: but was very disappointed in his superbowl performance, and then he got injured

xxxx annika xxxxx: and now hes over the hill

dumbtp: so sad

xxxx annika xxxxx: seriously, when i heard the story about jeff gannon, thought they were talking about Rich
xxxx annika xxxxx: i was very confused

dumbtp: its hard for me to seperate the two as well

xxxx annika xxxxx: What’s the story anyway, Bush gave him press credentials so he could plant questions in the news conferences? is that it?

dumbtp: lets hope thats it
dumbtp: some say he was there because his boyfriend is the press sec
dumbtp: or that he blackmailed himself in there

xxxx annika xxxxx: What’s this about him being a male prostitute?

dumbtp: escort
dumbtp: $200/hr
dumbtp: or $1200 a weekend
dumbtp: which seems like a bargain

xxxx annika xxxxx: REeeealllyyy?
xxxx annika xxxxx: i never heard that.

dumbtp: how else can you get past the secret service?
dumbtp: and why would you have to pay a dude for something that half the press do for free?

xxxx annika xxxxx: Jack Bauer did it easily in season one

dumbtp: jack bauer is hotter

xxxx annika xxxxx: haha

xxxx annika xxxxx: Well, you know, who was that blogger that was fucking half of Washington

xxxx annika xxxxx: oh, duh, the washingtonienne

dumbtp: washingtonne, only fucked a quarter of dc

xxxx annika xxxxx: Sounds like there’s a lot of sex going on in that town

dumbtp: then why wont they let the rest of us get any?

xxxx annika xxxxx: Hey what’s your take on Wonkette, if i may ask

dumbtp: i think shes great
dumbtp: i wrote her two fan emails
dumbtp: she answered the first one
dumbtp: then she got super famous

xxxx annika xxxxx: i saw her on Charlie Rose, and Andrew Sullivan was rude to her

dumbtp: i missed that one!

xxxx annika xxxxx: he wouldn’t let her speak

dumbtp: i hate catfights

xxxx annika xxxxx: lol
xxxx annika xxxxx: but she had this bang thing going, where it kept falling over one eye

dumbtp: so hot

xxxx annika xxxxx: and she kept brushing it back
xxxx annika xxxxx: the guys i was watching it with were very turned on by her

dumbtp: why she isnt superdooper famous is beyond me
dumbtp: how come she and washingtonniette arent doing a sunday morning show on mtv?

xxxx annika xxxxx: that would be hott

tune in next time when we talk a little bit about iraq, basketball, and charles bukowski

danielle + leah + my old boss is in paris hilton’s phone book