1. Saturday, February 19, 2005

    two chicks on e came over to my house last night 

    fucked up and confused, so i let them in.

    y not

    itd been raining so i lit a fire and retrieved blankets from the basement

    and i plotted.

    one of em looked like a blue eyed dita the other looked like a dirty britney

    somehow they got a hold of way too much ecstacy and being pretty cute they were allowed to eat too much ecstacy

    the key to a strong quickstarting impressive fire is to get a fake duraflame log or three from the 99cents store. chop a log up into thick meatloaf slice sizes. slide that under a wood log and poof, fire.

    they flopped down on the couch and started spewing all this paranoid insane bullshit about how these girls were laughing at them and how these boys were talking shit about them and how terrible they looked when they looked in the mirror and i said

    baby baby baby.

    i didnt sit on the couch, i sat in my chair.

    i already have a girlfriend.

    who was out of town.

    i said heres what we’re going to do we’re not going to think of anything negative for the rest of the night.

    they said, but

    i said no, we’re going to only focus on that fire, and maybe that tv if youre lucky.

    and we looked at the fire and told happy stories that sometimes swerved into the ditch of negativity but you just pull yourself out of that ditch by saying something nice

    like, you two are looking real good over there

    with the halloween oranges and tangerine reds all flickering on your

    young

    moist

    skin

    shadows bouncing across the ceiling and the drapes

    but im taken so we talked about crepes

    which studies have shown you can do on that pill

    talk about food, that is, deflect, if you will

    but they wont

    and last night they made out right in front of me

    slightly hotter than what was on tv

    and i swear theres magic in that couch.

    the fat guy + zulieka + instapundit + wit nit