1. Thursday, February 24, 2005

    shes so cute america. 

    im surrounded by cute girls but she may take the cake.

    still its hard for me not to talk about the most disgusting things while we’re having a romantic italian dinner while sipping on house wine.

    she says she read my post about porn and she says that porn grosses her out more than anything in the world and i say thats interesting because if i hadnt found the Lord i would have definately been the worlds greatest porno director.

    the owner/waiter dude was dressed so well, he gives everyone a free “taste” of wine as a greeting cuz the place is so damn classy. im going to unload my whole bankroll on this girl before the dentist takes it but it doesnt matter. there were little spoiled kids of the rich running around because their parents dont know how to talk with them when the mexican nanny isnt around.

    i say i would come out with a new porn each month. and each month it would be of a different genre. one month a western. a real western. saloon fights, a washed up sherrif, a whore house avec madame, indians who want to invade, rum runners, everything.

    the next month i would come out with a real 75 nurse orgy, where yes there would be 75 nurses in a heap during the spectacular thirty minute finale. all nurse conventions end this way, dont they?

    the next month would feature a spoof on the brady bunch. they werent really brothers and sisters anyway, plus, well, lets just say the phrase “mom always said, dont ball in the house” will get used.

    she plays with her spinach salad not at all impressed by my stream of conscious brilliance and i remember that she meant it when she said that porn disgusts her even though shes never seen one frame of it ever.

    i explain that in a normal porn, if theres a movie called the Pizza Boy, when the dude shows up and the daisy duke wearing co-ed cant seem to find her purse, they get it on. but in a busblog production when they got it on it would be ridiculously well lit and they would suddenly have totally combed hair and pirate costumes and everything would be in slow motion, they would defy gravity, midgets would peek out from the closets and psycedelic trails would emerge from their limbs to symbolize that it was all a dream.

    shes still not convinced and i tell her, i’ll put together a scene for you one day cuz its sorta hard to conceive over dinner.

    she says you do that and orders up some more bread.

    so cute america and not at all the future her parents would have wished for her.

    little did i know but ten minutes later my anestetia would wear off and the rattling that the dentist gave to my head would turn into the most wicked headache that ive ever had, and even though paul westerbergs label put me on the guest list, plus one, i wouldnt be able to even stand being in a coffee bean parking lot, let alone endure the throbbing PA from the cozy rock club.

    so at 9pm we called it a night after i downed three advil and watched Lost.

    at midnight i awoke refreshed and ready to rock

    and grateful for the man or woman who invented drugs.

    cuz sometimes they work.

    and even though LA has looked so bleh lately, this morning it was back to being my lady.

    vivian + elgin roots + whitey + after the debauchery