1. Sunday, February 13, 2005

    when it rains it pours america 

    last night i took a break from dating virgins and went out with a right wing thirtysomething who has been begging me for months to take her out on the town.

    one thing led to another and soon we were talking politics which is usually a huge mistake but angry sex is sometimes better sex, she told me, and i took the bait.

    the first thing she tossed over was that the liberal media isn’t covering the resignation of the vice president of cnn.

    i was all, is that really your biggest gripe tonight as we look down on the lights of the san fernando valley sipping from the bottle of the sweetest two buck chuck while nibbling from a baguette that we each shared.

    she smiled and said yes as a twinkle appeared in her eye. debate is what she came for and debate is what she will get but surely i jested you dont seriously consider the press liberal for if they were why do you think bushco has gotten such a free pass despite being a dunderhead.

    her lips parted and she wanted me i could tell who couldnt tell. the flippin cow jumping over the moon could tell that she wanted me, and she said by liberal press i mean weak in the knees press, timid and disorganized, playing by the rules that we set up for them and change at our wills press.

    i said oh if they were a conservative press they would bend the rules and lie and be a cheat and steal press, or do whatever it takes press, but ultimately the chief negro in charge press

    she put her hand on mine and said exactly.

    i said, but even AP says jordan barely had any responsibilities at cnn. he lorded over nothing any more after restructurings, and he wasn’t in charge of anything really.

    she said, but he had a glorious 23 year career with them, one that earned him an emmy, a dupont and a peabody. hes a big fish.

    i said, you dont even know what a dupont is.

    she said shuttup you dont either.

    i said the story of the week is about the white house having a mole, a ringer, a towel boy in the press corps, for a year, and a gay one at that, from a fake new service, whose being called on by his fake name by the press secretary and then by the president of the united states is the story of the week.

    she said, not the vp of cnn?

    i said, unless you consider the vice president of cnn more important than the president of the united states.

    she said, but he said that the military had a secret policy of killing journalists.

    i said, does the military have a secret policy of killing journalists?

    she said, its secert.

    i said, dont you see the symbolism between jesus and eason jordan?

    she nearly choked on her merlot. no.

    i explained to her that jesus was crucified for telling the truth. he didnt break the law. similarily, eason jordan offered an opinion that may or may not be true.

    she reasoned, well both of those men knew what they were in for if they said what they said.

    her pearl necklace was tight

    every thing on her was right

    except for the silly little chirps floating off her tounge and into my ears all night.

    eason jordan i reminded was in a closed door off the record conference, a star chamber as our friend matt welch so perfectly described it. the purpose of the conference, i told her was that so super big wig executives and power brokers and the like could say the unspeakable without fear.

    her eyes arched and she said, but even barney frank expressed shock and outrage.

    i coughed strange bedfellows dear. funny how you pick and choose what you decide to agree with congressman frank about. one might argue that if you consider him dead wrong on many of his other moral stances, perhaps hes morally wrong to allow something said in an off the record meeting leak out

    particularily if its validity has not been thouroughly investigated.

    she said, then why resign now.

    i said, because you wolves hounded cbs when all of their people didnt resign immediately. now he resigns and you arent satisfied with that.

    oh we’re satisfied all right, she hissed and adjusted her skirt.

    and we moved on to mr jeff gannon, the homosexual who the white house hired to lob softball questions and detract the tone of the already softball press conferences, who was leaked information from the white house, who was allowed a year-long day pass into the white house after the congress denied him because of his fake degree and fake employer.

    she said the president is republican, if he wants a fellow republican in the press corp doesnt he have that right?

    i said, if you cared at all how history will look back at this administration, you wouldnt defend and thereby encourage such sloppy slanted behavoir.

    to which she said, only the left care about what the name is and bristle when it gets tarnished

    whats in a name?

    conservatives, republicans, whatever you call us is whatever you call us, we’re far more interested in steering the ship and calling the shots

    you worry about those other trifles all you want deary

    we have a universe to run

    she said

    and then blew me.

    like one who had done it a few time.

    metafilter on jordan + metafilter on gannon + matt welch