1. Monday, March 28, 2005

    people ask me lots of questions 

    as if i have some pipeline into the future or into God or into television and record programming.

    well i do have a pipeline into the future but i try not to reveal it because i value my safety and i wouldnt want to be kidnapped by hoodlums who would sit me infront of the big screens at the sports book at caesars and tell them which ponies to bet on across the country.

    yes, britney spears is pregnant. duh.

    look at the size of that bun in the oven!

    and while we’re at it, big deal.

    why is that so important to you?

    each day i give you at least one or two real issues to chew on: my love life, my career plans, my concerns about the blogosphere, the cubs, religion, my lack of a sex life, the downfall of america at the hands of the right, kids kicking ass on the interweb, and tsar’s incredibly slow rise up the pop charts.

    women get knocked up all the time, why is pimply faced, slack jawed, no talent britney spears womb of such concern, particularily in light of who has been fertilzing that empty space?

    i think britney is pregnant for several reasons at the top of the list being that shes eating like a damn pig. i eat like a damn pig too so i actually like that shes gorging herself because people should live their lives and not worry about dumb things like fitting into size 2 jeans, but most of us arent popstars whose uniforms include bellyshirts and etc.

    i also think britney is pregnant because her bazooms are balossoming like nobodies bazisiness. i remember not long ago when she was doing a pepsi commercial and they were doing a behind the scenes about it and they said that her boobs were looking really big and she was all, pushup bra im sure.

    compare and contrast these pictures of her in a bikini with exhibit d.

    all of this would also explain her somewhat frantic rush to get married last year, her willingness to rush together a greatest hits package and lack of any plans to tour any time soon.

    personally im glad shes pregnant. if shes lucky maybe she will look as hot as zulieka.

    cityrag + moon over pittsburgh + stereogum + gm blog