1. Friday, March 11, 2005

    sometimes everything is perfect 

    and sometimes in that moment you see everything thats wrong. and sometimes the thing in there thats wrong is you.

    ive been lucky in love. i’ll admit it. for some reason the coolest girls in the world want to hang out with me and be more than friends.

    often there comes an occasion to photograph a moment, or we might pass a mirror and are forced to peer into it, and very often id see our reflection and id think that poor poor beautiful girl. look at who shes got hanging on her. pawwing her. smelling her.

    talking so dirty.

    surely she deserves better than a sinful filthy slothful letch.

    her name was shhhh and she came in a dream. twenty three and never been kissed since high school. twenty three and never been touched. twenty three and within days so into me and likewise im sure.

    we watched tv and ate and rode in her car and sat in her car. later we kissed in her car and talked in her car and did everything except go in my house cuz we knew what would happen.

    we’d talk about the bible and the church and the Lord and we’d read from it. and then we’d kiss.

    because im a pig my hands would wander but she was like those indian goddesses she had more arms than me and deflected my every advance and so i used my xbi superpowers to french in such a way that it would hypnotize those thousand hands and finally put them to rest.

    turned out she had superpowers herself and within a week i was on my knee during american idol begging her to be mine, i even took off my cubs hat cuz i meant it and she said yes and everything was surreal except for the shooting stars and the fireworks and still she wouldnt take off her top which was perfect and we kissed some more.

    i wrote in here about her and i held back from writing everything about her and i wrote in my dreams about her because it was two different universes crossing paths on a leather couch. hugely different universes that literally spoke foreign languages.

    and i was almost twice her age. and black and proud. and xxx. and etc. she lived with her folks. she drove a car. she’d never done drugs. one shot of booze would make her pass out. although she loved the Lord she hadnt read every detail of the bible like i had. she absorbed the love of the church while i lapped up each word of the good book the best book my favorite book. she wanted to hold hands on the promenade, i wanted to dress her up like a school girl and have her twirl on my isla vista coffee table. she wanted to watch american idol i somehow would slip in gg allin.

    and what turned us on the most was it still worked. how can you disagree with a girl with twelve arms. and everything made sense anyway because everything she believed in came from the pure part of our hearts. we were listening to nwa and she heard a word and said whats a spic and this girl grew up in la!

    i never saw her ass i never saw her sex and maybe thats good because id be doomed forever for she never farted but if she had it would smell like potpourri and when we broke up yesterday her tears sparkled like silverdust.

    later she sent me an email so full of love and insight and promise and cheer that i knew what i had always suspected which was the angels had demoted a cherrub girl who it had turned out had been falsely accused.

    ben lee + tiffany in italy + gorilla mask + the arcade fire on conan