1. Thursday, April 14, 2005

    another suprising thing about hell 

    is the laughter. at first i thought it was just like the middlemanager demons who were laughing, but no, everyone laughs from time to time.

    i think the thing is, in order to truly suffer you need to have the dynamic of happiness n joy so when youre in pain its more of a contrast.

    if people were just always miserable their misery would just end up being normal.

    like if you swam in a cold pool for a while, it would eventually not feel so cold. but if youre in a hot tub and then jump in the pool its jarring.

    so they let you laugh here, in fact they have plasma screen tvs all over the place and they make you look at them until you laugh at something.

    lots of times the screens have websites and blogs cuz those can be pretty damn funny sometimes.

    this morning i was shocked to see one of my favorite blogs, the Instapundit on one of the screens. people were crowded around the flat monitor and reading it and laughing to themselves and walking away slapping each other on the back.

    when i finally made it close enough to read, i saw this: “April 14, 2005
    HERE’S A LIST of members of Congress with relatives on the payroll. Seems like a bipartisan sport.”

    i was all, what are you all laughing about? isnt having relatives on the payroll bipartisan?

    one of the demons, said, dude look at the page he’s linking to.

    and it was a list of senators and congresspeople who had paid their relatives out of their campaign fund.

    and i was all, so?

    and the demon slapped me and said fuck brain look at the people on that list – are Any of them giving their wife and one daughter a half million dollars over the last three years?

    and sure enough they were right. the biggest payout on the list the professor linked to was Rep. Jerry Lewis from California who gave his wife “nearly $111,000” for being his congressional chief of staff.

    but the rest of the list included family members getting paid pretty reasonable amounts ($1,000 a month to a congressman’s sister-in-law for bookkeeping, $3,000 over a year to another congressman’s nephew to be a driver, etc.)

    in hell theres very little paper, so you can add shit in your head like a motherfucker.

    we were adding the list the instapundit pointed to and broke it down by democrat and republican and yes that list seemed pretty bipartisan if you left out delay’s wife and daughter

    but if you added the delay clan, and then added to the list a story the good professor doesnt link to for some reason, one that reports that dick cheney’s gay daughter mary was paid $81,000 last year. then it looks like, again, that it pays to be a republican, big time.

    theres little that demons find funnier than right wing apologists, who have been very quiet about the majority leader, linking to an article that makes him look like the greedy bastard that he is.

    if youre looking for bipartisanship, look no further than hell

    where the population includes just as many DEMocrats as cONServatives.

    defjon + ferdi + write hard + matt good