1. Tuesday, April 19, 2005

    hot chick was over my house last night. 

    my tivo was fucked so she drove me over to the dudes house.

    because shes the sweetest girl ever she agreed to pick up a friend of her brothers who happened to live near my hollywood bungalow. so on the way to the tivo dudes house her brothers friend started going off on these monologues as if he had been saving it up all day.

    everyone needs but a few connections, he said.

    you need your computer dude, your drug dude, your mechanic, your doctor, your dentist,

    and now it looks like you need your tivo dude.

    i added that its also nice to have a lawyer.

    the hot chick squeezed my hand.

    hard.

    so i also said aloud, for the record, and a stewardess kissbuddy.

    she smiled.

    the dude lit a little one hitter and offered it my way.

    since im straight edge i shook him off.

    she took a hit though and he went off on his tangents.

    normally i would have been annoyed but i tuned him out and looked at this chick and she saw me looking at her and smiled and i looked in the passengers side mirror and i thought what on earth am i doing with this hot babe.

    how have i gotten any of these chicks.

    and look at this girl taking me to get my tivo fixed.

    hollywood can get suprisingly nippy on these spring evenings but we kept the top down anyway and her brothers friend’s jibberjab got beat down from the wind.

    she doesnt like public displays of affection so i put a shawl over her right leg and across the armrest and over my left leg and i held her hand

    as the stars streaked across the stratosphere

    and led zeppelin three massaged the speakers

    our girl had never heard this classic gem.

    bros bro said no way

    she said yes way

    shes hawaiian and only so much made it to her side of the island

    the backseat said i bet you ten bucks they hire that nazi youth to be the next pope.

    i was all make it twenty and youve got a bet, no way would the catholic church, in the shadow of the biggest child molestation scandal of all time, hire a nazi to be pope. they’ll get a black or a latin.

    he coughed and said we voted for the kid of a nazi police chief to be governor.

    i was like yeah and hows that working out for us?

    and today i got into the office, saw that they were putting new wiring in chopper one,

    turned on the idiot box and saw that im gonna not only have to cross paths again with that weirdo

    but now i owe him twenty bucks.

    albino brain chiggers + frozen toothpaste + the keeze + alecia