i had done well as a santa claus and then word got out that i was a writer when i was alive. so i got a new assignment.
before i knew it i had shrunk to the size of a gnat.
and then i got shrunk to half that size.
and then they turned me invisible.
and then they put me into the ear wax of a college girl.
and this is what they made me whisper.
youre no good.
youre too fat
youre too ugly
theres a thousand girls prettier than you
your boobs are too small
your zits are too big
youre not smart enough
you dont look good in your clothes
your scars show in your pictures
your daddy was right
you fuck weird when you fuck
nobody likes you
your friends only like you for your money.
you need to stop lying about having money.
you’re such a liar.
your car is going to die on you any day.
not even the lesbians want you.
youre going to be homeless soon.
you’ll never get married.
your sisters are so much cooler than you.
i had to do that all day.
i didnt want to do it but something inside me was making me do it.
the devil was making me do it.
i wanted to cry, but i couldnt.
p. 71-72 of how to blog