1. Saturday, April 2, 2005

    my tivo’s fucked. 

    but unlike the pope, it will be back and better than ever once i take it to my dude.

    wanna cry over something faltering, cry over my tivo. how’m i supposed to watch the final four without my tivo/directv?

    meanwhile these “pilgrims” crying outside the vatican has got to be the worst advertisement for catholicism since 4,450 priests got caught fucking kids.

    HEY PILGRIMS, THE POPE IS 84 YEARS OLD. EVEN HIS PISS IS TRYING TO KILL HIM. FUCKING GET OVER IT, YOUR FIGUREHEAD, YOUR FAKE PUPPET, YOUR STUBBORN MULE IS ABOUT TO BE TAKEN BEHIND THE BARN AND OFFED. DEAL FUCKERS DEAL!

    sheesh. sometimes i think people need a reason to gather outside a building and hold a candle in a paper cup.

    i can give you some reasons to weep other than the inevitable happenning to some sexist, homophobic, clueless old man’s ass, lets start with darfur whose death toll is close to 300,000 who have died due to starvation, murder, and disease. thats like 120 9/11s. just sayin.

    but if we didnt give a shit about the 800,000 rwandans killed over 100 days, why would we even blink over less than half of that in darfur? fuck black people in america, so double if not triple fuck black people in africa. if they want our attention get some freaking oil or start dating angelina jolie.

    but you wont get our tears, or our candlelight vigils unless youve got a feeding tube hanging out your mouth, unless youre a little cuban boy, or unless youre an 84 year old pope who still wont tell his overpopulating masses that condom use actually might be a sensible idea after all.

    wheres everyones grief over the 100,000 iraqi civilians who have died in this war over oil and missing wmds?

    wheres everyones grief over the fact that the cubs are stumbling into this season without sammy, without moises, with wood and prior hurtin, and with no closer.

    where are the pilgrams outside the michaelangelo designed gates of mtv headquarters protesting the fact that they havent shown a decent video since 1991?

    how about the outrage that i still cant get a beer in the bleachers at dodger stadium?

    wheres the grief over the fact that we might not have barry bonds to kick around anymore?

    shit i’ll give you something to cry about.

    like who fired mariah carey’s personal trainer?

    oh wait, this just in, the pope is dead.

    good, now can we go back to ignoring religion until we want to hide behind a reason to vote republican and dick over the gays?

    k thanx.

    zulieka explains “why i fucked all those people” + anti and tanky make waffles, a film + radiohumper