1. Wednesday, April 20, 2005

    ok, friends, 

    i got a good phone call today while flying in the clear blue skies of southern california

    i was advised to light candles, to say prayers, to click my heels, to do what i would normally do to prepare for an important day.

    i wish i could tell you what’s going on.

    soon i will tell you whats going on.

    i will say something like, remember on 4/20 i told you all to whisper a little prayer for your old pal tone? well this is what you were trying to stoke me with.

    the problem with being tony pierce, besides having to live up to the hype when i meet people, is that a lot of things that i do in some way or another gets tied to this blog

    so of course on the eve of one of the biggest days of my life, the day where some very important people will come to visit this blog (some for the first time ever) they will be greeted with anti smoking from a bong,

    a hitchcock poster defaced with some green bud,

    an illustration of a naked woman laying on a very happy giant panda,

    a nude santa claus instant messaging me, bill clinton raising the devil horns,

    pics from a strip club,

    and the last few chapters of the time i went to hell and met mr kurt cobain.

    sex drugs and rock. fine for keeping the site meter counter spinning, but not exactly the first impression that one would want v.i.p.s to have contact with.

    and i know what you’ll all say,

    you’ll all say, oh tony youre a great writer youve got nothing to worry about.

    and i’ll say these people are surrounded by talented people all day, many of whom i dont hold a candle to. these arent xanga blogs im being compared to tomorrow.

    and some will say oh tony these people know that youre just kidding around, these people know that youre not advocating illegal activities, being sent to hell, or hanging out at hollywood gentlemens clubs with dear friends from out of town.

    but the demons in my head are working overtime these days and theyre all but but but and thankfully my job is hectic and nuts cuz i can ignore them for a while

    and just a few minutes ago my buddy was all

    dont be nervous tony, no way are these people going to be tougher on you than the cardinals were on the candidates to be the new pope. and look what happened, ratzi the nazi got picked! theres nothing on your blog as incriminating as being a hitler youth who grew up to be so backwards as to think that condom use to help prevent HIV is a bad idea.

    i was all yeah, good point.

    and then he fixed my tivo.

    so yes, light your candles tonight my friends. and if you pray, say Lord let’s give a break to our pal tony who doesnt really deserve it or has truly earned it but who is ready to take this shit to the next level.

    even if its a level where you hafta capitalize

    and you cant say “shit”

    too often.

    susan mernit + zulieka onfire + city rag + everlearn