1. Sunday, April 10, 2005

    the tv in hell sucks 

    sunday evenings i like to watch the sopranos and the simpsons. the sopranos are in reruns and thats fine, but i still have the simpsons.

    not tonight though.

    pissed my ass off.

    my mom has been reading Blook and she says that it’s very visual. she also says she cant put it down.

    that makes me happy again.

    right before i was gruesomely murdered i had just sketched out the rough draft of How To Blog, the long awaited sequel to Blook.

    i emailed it to courtney love, but it might have bounced back. her mailbox gets full quickly.

    drudge was on the radio tonight.

    in hell they love drudge.

    he was going off about how the movie industry shouldnt be so proud just because they just had a decent year.

    he said that in 1959 people went to 40 movies a year, today they only go to 5.

    i thought, but back then tickets only cost like a dime. so your annual expense to the movies was $4.

    you know what, forget it. he was annoying. everyone laughed. theyre annoying too.

    they hadnt laughed that hard since when trent lott said that the reasons the democrats are after him is because he’s a Christian.

    one of the little jokes in Hell is calling yourself a Christian.

    most of the guys werent Christians till they got sent here. but now it’s too late. plus its not even faith any more. we saw Him. He looked at each of us. right in the eye.

    then, right in our heart.

    it’s easy to believe in someone you can see. someone who you felt.

    so if one of the demons on earth wants to throw out a little ironic bitterness, they identify themselves as Christians.

    so yes trent lotts a Christian

    not everyone has to spend eternity in the pits of hell shovelling lava and being whipped by hooved taskmasters who have chariot wheels for hind legs.

    some are allowed to spend time on Earth but of course theres a catch.

    you will either be superdeformed or dumb as a rock.

    or blind and smelly.

    or a chicago cubs fan.

    or the inevitable victim of a horrendous attrocity or tragedy.

    or a republican senator who knows better but simply cannot do anything other than the work of the devil.

    and even though you’d think that some of their life would be better than a day in hell, youre wrong because they know something really super terrible is going to happen at any moment,

    so they cant enjoy the good because the bad might happen right when their mouth is open and their eyes are closed.

    and this terribleness isnt normal terribleness like annoying neighbors being too loud or no new simpsons this week

    this is from their hometown of evil

    a name you can trust.

    sk smith + dc + listen missy + bing