1. Friday, April 1, 2005

    well, it was bound to happen one day. 

    me and moxie and moxie pleaded with me to announce this yesterday like she did so people would acutally believe us, but i put Lick up so it would be on time. then we got it on for the sixth time and because im olde i passed out in a happy little heap in the last bachelor pad that i will ever have.

    the first person who knew was my landlord. I told him two weeks ago that I was going to propose and if she said yes I would like to get of my lease. Because I pay so little rent you could see his smile through the phone. He’s been trying to get me out of that apartment for years. The place on the left and the right are now renting for twice my rent and my place is bigger and better than both of them.

    then i had to tell my college girlfriend Jeanine who picked out the ring and put in a bigger and better diamond. Moxie is a classy girl, so we decided a vintage ring was the way to go.

    i also told karisa because of all the girls i know, for some weird reason i thought i would eventually marry her. she and i get along perfectly, and we share a lot of similar beliefs, but shes the wrong sign and we’ve never gotten past that. and now that she has a man who is all the things that i will never be: tall, rich, hung, i knew we’d only be Just Friends.

    if only we woulda had one night in the sack, i know she woulda come around… oh well. a man needs friends. im told.

    the last person i told was my “true love”. she knew how close moxie and i have been over this year, but i wanted to make sure that there was no way in hell that she wanted to get back with me. chris was clear. she said there was no way in hell. i was all what if hell froze over. she said even if hell froze over i wouldnt be getting back up in that shit.

    i didnt tell my mom, cuz she woulda wanted to come to the ceremony, i didnt tell my friends cuz they woulda wanted to come, she didnt tell her friends or family cuz they probably woulda said, “youre marrying a black liberal?”

    many funny things about this relationship and our blogs. even though i say that nothing in here is true, the belief out there is that i have a turnstyle to my apartment where all the hot young ladies of la just come in and out. so not true. shit, look at me!

    then moxie has been sobbing over these totally ridiculous boring NOT HANDSOME bros and people totally believe it. have none of her readers ever met her or looked at her? the girl is fucking on fire. and smart. and funny! and totally parties.

    who on earth would believe the crap that she has been writing over there?

    apparentely everyone.

    so we went with it. i wrote about dating cheerleaders (which i was doing up until about a year ago) and she wrote about being all bummed out with her love life (which was the furthest from the truth).

    this valentines we had a super romantic day, and she tried to give her readers hints that she wasnt going out with a long haired pretty boy bush lover. tell me that illustration isnt the epitome of me and my new wife.

    and lately, if youve noticed, ive been putting up lots of pictures up of my favorite family, the cobains. moxie has always wanted to tie me down, and ive always said that theres no way i could marry a republican with no ass. her arguement was that kurt got married in his twenties to a woman who might not have been the most stable person for him, but they made a beautiful baby who will probably save rock and roll.

    she said our children would save america, and thus the world.

    so i was in.

    it didnt hurt that she f’s like a beast. 4 times a day is rare. normally we go 6-7. she claims thats what normal people do when theyre in love. apparently ive only been in love a few times cuz i dont remember that sort of action.

    because we never talk about politics, ever, we never fight. if Bush does something stupid and we’re watching tv we will change the channel. i will laugh to myself quietly, but i wont bring it up. if i do she tells me she wont put on the little slinky thing she knows i like, so i shut my trap and say something like, ooh, look at the new beyonce video.

    i will reserve talking about the special day that i proposed and we eloped cuz some things should remain private. both of our lives are generally public, to a point, but some things are extremely personal, and thats why we got hitched the way we did. shes a deeply personal person and i couldnt care less what people think one way or the other, so it was cool with me to keep the affair, proposal, and nuptials just between her me and the lord above.

    feel free to meet us for drinks at Marie Callendar’s on Wilshire on Monday after 6pm, which is a few hours before the Tsar show at the El Rey.

    we love all of you and we plan on celebrating with everyone on Monday and later this month.

    mox’s announcement + the first time we met + more pics from that day