1. Friday, April 1, 2005

    yes my wife lets me date 

    its one of the many reasons i married her.

    she doesnt even mind if i date on our anniversary.

    last night i had a few hours to kill before i picked up our lil moxie at LAX so i did something i never do: i networked.

    as you know i have started freelancing at the LA Weekly, one of the greatest free weekly newspapers of all time, and luckily for me, it’s local. so when they invited me to a little mixer to celebrate their annual Style supplement i said to myself, you know, i hate going out in public but i really truly love the Weekly, ive read almost every issue since i moved here 20 years ago

    and i can get a hot date

    and i can hang out with my hot editor, one ms kate sullivan

    and since its being held at chinese/thai Kung Pao Kitty on my favorite street hollywood blvd in beautiful downtown hollywood and since they promise chinese hor d’oerves, i will go.

    and i did go, and it was fun, and there were models there and writers and free food and chinese beer and lo there was famous author luke ford and brit blogger jackie danicki who we got into such an engrossing conversation that i didnt even get a chance to either network nor hang with my editor.

    but its cool. i would have liked to get the sxsw rundown from ms sullivan but instead i was entertained by the tipsy mr ford and the totally tapped into the blogosphere ms danicki.

    she told me hella things off the record which are pretty interesting.

    and she blogged a bunch about the party, as did luke, who said this about my date who was a lot like my last girlfriend, except last nights was korean, which i agree with luke, are so supernice.

    My whole night lit up like Korean fireworks when I ran into Tony Pierce and his beautiful 24-year old Korean date (doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t lend herself to other blokes).

    Tony always has the hottest chicks (he brought Karisa to my book party). How does he do it? He doesn’t even own a car.

    I fear that once they’ve gone black, they’ll never go back. How can you keep them on the farm once they’ve seen Paris. Tony is very Paris.

    We both want to cross the DMZ and invade Helen’s Korean peninsula which juts so provocatively into the Pacific Ocean, just sticking out there, all tempting like, driving wild a warlike people like Tony and I.

    For the next two hours, I talked nonstop, trying to test how far I could go with offensive positive generalizations about Asians (smart, polite, courteous, cute, eager to please) before I offend the born-again Christian.

    Nothing I said seemed to throw her. She laughed at all my jokes. She must have a great sense of humor and be highly discerning.

    Koreans are the best. They are far better looking than the Japanese and they don’t rape whole countries. My whole dorm floor at UCLA was filled with Koreans and they had broad friendly faces. I was so grateful that somebody was studying math and science so that I could receive quality medical care in my old age.

    and then my date dropped me off at the airport and i met moxie at baggage claim, we got her porsche out of long term parking, and we drove to her place for some monkey business.

    i dont know how i do it either luke.

    i think it has something to do with something that starts with L and rhymes with fuck.

    luke + jackie documenting how when i get drunk my left eye starts to close + oliver willis + negro please