1. Thursday, May 26, 2005

    i was on the phone with a fashion model last night 

    while she was driving and at that moment she was hit by another car.

    oh my god i was just hit! she said.

    i was all, are you alright?

    she was all it hurts.

    i was all, where are you?

    she had just left a film at the arclight.

    she said sunset.

    i was all, where on sunset?

    and she was all, i have to go.

    now i love this girl. and i realize that she was in shock, but i havent been fired by the xbi. im still the superhero you love. nothing on here is true baby.

    instead she hung up.

    sadly the truth is i have no car. so i got my clothes on for the first time all day. it was 10:38pm. i got my cell phone and i got out of my house and started to run down sunset.

    i figured id run for a while and if a bus came by id jump on.

    but as i started running all the worst images ran through my head. was she cut with glass all over? is her career history? are her arms and legs broken?

    was it intentional and they stole her car?

    was it intentional and they were going to steal her car till they saw how hot she is and now theyre stealing her too.

    so i ran to an atm and got $40 to try to catch a cab.

    i ran and saw a cop car and thought about flagging him but then i was all, what if this is xbi related and its someone trying to kidnap an xbi girlfriend. cops cant be involved in that.

    so i kept running.

    id call her but it went straight to voicemail. that made me even more worried. how does your phone go straight to voicemail after you called me 5 minutes ago? it has to be turned off.

    why would she turn off her phone?

    im not a long distance runner. i can sprint. i can run fast for a good mile, maybe two miles. karisa can run. i can sprint. big difference. theres a reason i fly chopper one. its to overcompensate.

    right before i made it to sunset and western she called me.

    she said she was ok.

    that the guy who hit her car had just left.

    i said did he run away?

    she said he drove away.

    communication is never what you want it to be in dire situations. i tried to keep the questions as laser sharp as possible.

    i am at sunset and western, where are you on sunset.

    even that was a complicated conversation.

    eventually i made it to her. she was exchanging information and i thought you people have had a half hour to exchange information what sort of madness is happening here.

    i got into the drivers seat and sped her to the hospital.

    she had no bruises or cuts. nothing was broken. a car she told me hit her from behind as she was stopped at a red light. the car hit her so hard that she hit the car in front of her.

    because she is such a sweet sweet girl she was worried about what her father and brother would say about it. her neck and head were sore, she had a headache but she worried about what people would say. i was all baby, you were stopped at a red light, what on earth could youhave done better.

    she said nothing.

    i said, yes you could have told me the first time where you were on sunset.

    and she shot me a look like how could you criticize me at this moment

    and she was right. im an ass. but i was relieved that she was ok.

    and when we got into a room inside the ER i got to help her change into one of those gowns.

    all i gotta say is ooh lala.

    zulieka + nothing i ever did at work was as bad as this + great picture of raymi