1. Tuesday, May 31, 2005

    miss universe pagent 

    bangkock, thailand

    yes i called it. yes im amazing. yes its a little creepy.

    the dazzling blue eyes of miss canada triumphed over a latin onslaught of beauty and curves and va va voom to become miss universe 2005.

    in what might have been the first all-brunette and all-american (north, central, south) final, toronto’s Natalie Glebova is officially the hottest chick of the week.

    the 5’11” goddess had stiff competition as all of the finalists were quite adept at looking smokin in a dress, looking glamorous in a completely unflattering bikini, looking devistating in an evening gown, and being able to walk fast and spin in heels on a ramp, down stairs, and across a shiny stage.

    did miss glebova answer the final question all that well? nah. but her eyes made you crumble at her feet and she didnt fuck up and she had that lil something special that made you say got damn.

    the evening gown competition easilly went to miss venuzuela whose every curves were savored by the dress that seemed to be made especially for her. but when it came to questiontime she froze up and stood there like a dope. even in the forgiving nation of thailand thats unforgiveable.

    miss canada won on my ballot in the swimsuit competition. she was graceful smooth while she walked across the stage, she seemed confident and her body said mama mia with french accent.

    even though the judges selected miss puerto rico to be the runner up, i would have chosen miss mexico, but i was distracted with my own swimsuit modeling happening in front of my tv as my baseball date became obsessed with showing me how each of the girls were walking incorrectly

    particularily miss usa who seemed equal parts drunk and retarded.

    almost like her ben-wah balls had broken free and she was trying to keep them in their place.

    miss usa was an embarrassment and obviously the only reason she made it to the top 10 was for ratings which is sad because miss thailand, who won the costume portion of the competition, was very appealing in my household.

    i was very happy with the presentation of the competition. i was particularily pleased that they didnt bother us with any scores, tallys, or soap stars on director chairs in the audience to throw it back to the ever-annoying billy bush who seemed to want to start a fight with the dominican congregation and the slurry mcslurette nancy o’dell who filled in miserably for miss daisy fuentes who co-hosted last year with bush. yes its gay that i remembered that.

    heres what needs to change next year. the bikinis have to go. i dont know what nbc is trying to do with those bikinis but theyre horrible. are they trying to protect us from clevage or nipples? i think they must be. but when 2004 miss universe, the aussie babe whose dress accidentally fell off last year in a mall, when she came out to put the crown on miss canada, it was obvious that nipples were a-ok on the program.

    so please, someone, make a bikini that looks like a real bikini and not whatever that was that you put on those hot babes.

    meanwhile, bravo canada, your chickie didnt fall and she looked real good walking around like she did. thus ends our special coverage of the miss universe pagent. who knows maybe next year they’ll invite a blogger to cover it live.

    return to the busblog for more hot ladies